“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.”

In research carried out by the Centre for Creative Leadership, 28 per cent of respondents indicated power is misused within their organisation. Workplace power, they found, is less about acting powerful and more about exerting influence. The researchers concluded with the three ideal forms of power:

• The power of relationships requires leaders to build meaningful connections by developing trust and seeking understanding.
• The power of information necessitates effective communication by sharing new knowledge and discarding irrelevant data.
• The power to reward others highlights the need to provide positive feedback and to compensate people for their efforts.

“Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction.”

Many leaders, particularly in Australia where there’s a high rate of avoidance leadership, are not disciplined in having ‘right and important’ (read: difficult and confrontational) conversations with employees. We’re held back by fear, preferring instead to pretend everything’s okay.

In the bestselling book Crucial Conversations, the authors state the reason many leaders avoid tough conversations is because they worry they’ll make matters worse. Their study of 100,000 participants over a 20-year period revealed people have a serious incapacity to address emotionally sensitive issues, and this weakness is at the core of almost all business (and personal) conflict.

“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”

That statement is backed by two studies published a few months ago in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The researchers discovered the people most likely to become leaders – or those who were most likely to be perceived as future leaders – weren’t necessarily the most likeable. Rather, it was those who displayed characteristics of prestige or dominance.

Prestige is associated with skill and competence; in other words, the ability to demonstrate talent and capability. Dominance, on the other hand, was associated more with arrogance. The former is preferable to the latter, but both were found to be more effective than the boss that everyone merely likes.

“What is success? I think it is a mixture of having a flair for the thing that you are doing; knowing that it is not enough, that you have got to have hard work and a certain sense of purpose.”

In his book Leading with Purpose, which included significant amounts of qualitative research, John Baldoni writes that a strong purpose is what empowers a leader to bring employees together in the pursuit of a collective objective. This can be achieved in a variety of ways:

• Make purpose a priority by being clear on where you’re going and, most importantly, why.
• Instil that purpose in your employees by making sure they understand not only what it is but also how they can contribute to it.
• Make it safe to fail by encouraging employees to attempt purpose-driven innovation even if they occasionally flunk.

“If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”

So which gender is better at leadership? In 2011, the Harvard Business Review published the findings of a study of 7000 leaders, which revealed women outperformed men in 15 out of 16 leadership competencies. And the margin was substantial in 12 of those. The 'strategic perspective' competency was the only one the blokes won.

From a business leadership standpoint, do you find Margaret Thatcher inspiring? If not her, then who?

Follow James Adonis on Twitter  @jamesadonis