IT’S no wonder your average Novocastrian has a chip on both shoulders, a complex the size of Big Dog and an outlook as crisp as the Beijing air.
They always find a way to screw us. And by ‘‘They’’ we mean the collective, sinister They. In this case it’s the Bureau of Meteorology.
For years, Tony Proust and his wife have started their day listening to ABC Radio National, including the weather report just before the 6.30am news.
‘‘Just recently we noticed that Newcastle’s weather was no longer mentioned, although other cities like Albury and Wollongong were listed along with the capital cities, of course, plus other places such as Broome and Cairns,’’ says Tony, of Merewether.
He emailed the ABC, and was told they go off the Major Cities Forecast issued by the bureau. Sure enough, when Tony checked, Newcastle was no longer listed as a Major City.
‘‘Which seemed a bit weird,’’ says Tony.
So he got on to the bureau, which confirmed that, while bustling metropolises like Broome and Albury made the cut, Newcastle had somehow ‘‘slipped’’ off the Major Cities Forecast.
Are. You. Kidding?!
A sheepish bureau spokesman said the snub wasn’t intentional, and they would investigate how it happened. Last we checked online, Newcastle had been reinstated. For now.
The lesson is that the price of being on the Major Cities Forecast is eternal vigilance.
TONY Hogg thought he was shooting an ad about skin cancer yesterday at Merewether Surf House.
Instead, Hogg – a sergeant with the Nelson Bay water police – and his dad, Lance, were being set up for a surprise party.
Friends and family were on hand to help the clueless pair celebrate turning 50 and 90, respectively.
‘‘Best sting I’ve done, if I do say so myself,’’ beamed Tony’s brother, Lawrie.
‘‘I know for a fact [Tony] has been telling those who will listen he’s doing a commercial.’’
CONGRATULATIONS are in order for a rival news outlet that, this week, lifted the Herald’s entire story about a student’s live sex show in a university library. Without attribution.
It was the most brazen attempt at plagiarism this column has witnessed since that kid in our high school history class ended his speech on medieval warfare with ‘‘copyright, Microsoft Encarta 98’’.
Even better, when the outlet later decided to tack on a boiler plate ‘‘The Newcastle Herald reports’’, they spelt it ‘‘Newcaslte’’. Bravo.
READER Philip Sergeant tells us the red wine released after the Whitlam Dismissal came with a bottle of white.
As regular readers will know, anyone who donates $5 to the Movember efforts of local doctor Syd Bourke goes into the draw for a bottle of the red, labelled Kerr’s Klaret (vin ordinaire).
‘‘I thought you might like to know that there was a companion bottle of white that went with the Kerr’s Klaret,’’ says Philip.
‘‘The wine first appeared in the Herald Topics on 18 or 19 November, 1976.’’
The bottle in question is Chateau Coup d’état – ‘‘A Very Right White’’.
‘‘Grown from imported Balmain stock, this wine exhibits an outstanding assault on one’s Constitution,’’ reads the label.
‘‘It has a beautiful conspiratorial bouquet, a non- conventional palate and a convulsive acid finish.’’
Does anyone have a bottle hidden away?
