In his own words, it's because of "one night, one bad decision". "I should have just gone home and if I could go back in time and change it, I obviously would," the Knights prop says.

Until now, Saifiti hasn't spoken publicly about the incident early last December outside a Hamilton hotel that created unwanted headlines, put his league career at risk and cost him a $25,000 fine from the club. At the time, he genuinely feared he would be sacked.

"That first day back, I was pretty emotional," he told the Newcastle Herald. "I thought it would be the worst case scenario. I thought I'd be sacked. I'm just grateful the club gave me a second chance."

For legal reasons, Saifiti won't talk specifically about the alleged altercation with Dane Cordner, the brother of NSW and Australian captain Boyd Cordner, who is defending assault charges in court.

Saifiti was knocked out and suffered a broken leg after falling during the incident, which occurred a month into pre-season training. He had surgery and spent a night in John Hunter Hospital before returning home to face a long rehabilitation. It was 19 weeks before he was back on the field.

"I'm slowly getting there," he says. "I've been eased back in [NSW] Cup and my fitness is gradually improving. The next three or four weeks, it's about getting the quality right and hopefully starting to knock on Browny's [Knights coach Nathan Brown] door and getting a crack at first grade.

"Realistically though, I'm still a fair way off but I'm working hard and trying to make up some lost ground."

According to Brown, Saifiti had been among the Knights' best in the opening four weeks of the pre-season last November before he went out on the town with a host of players to send off England-bound teammate Luke Yates.

By the end of a long day and night on the drink, all the hard work had been for nothing.

Ask him why he didn't do what a lot of his teammates did and go home before any of the alleged trouble started, he pulls no punches.

"It was the alcohol and I was having too good a time," he said. Hindsight's a great thing. I've been a pretty heavy drinker, I don't deny that, especially my first two years here. It's probably why I was playing average footy back then. My off-field wasn't the best and that reflected on my on-field. Win or lose, I was just out all the time and would be the last to leave at closing time. But I haven't been to a pub since it happened. You won't see my face out and about in Newy now. I've learned my lesson. It's just not worth it."

Saifiti knows better than anyone what the setback has done to his career.

"I'd fully recovered from my shoulder operations last year, been through a month of pre-season training and it was the best I've ever felt," he said. "I was confident of being somewhere around the squad. It was going to be tough but I was ready to rip in. Like I said, one night, one bad decision cost me my chance and that's on me."

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Mentally, he says he is now in a good place after some early struggles.

"It obviously wasn't a great end to last year and start to this year but I had a really good support network around me," he said. "My partner, she was a rock and my family have been fantastic along with all the boys.

"There were a lot of sleepless nights where I was thinking why didn't I just go home, why did I do this, do that. But then I realised that stressing over things that had already been done was sending me crazy so after that, I was like, whatever happens, happens.

"I had to get away from that mindset and just worry about my footy, be a good partner and good teammate and just get on with the job.

"Now I look at guys like Tau [Moga] and Slade [Griffin] and Scotty Dureau [fighting cancer] and I'm walking around here feeling sorry for myself, you slap yourself across the face pretty quickly and get back to business.

"I look back on it now - we'd just signed Klem and it was going to be his first training session on the Monday and instead of talking about how good the club was going, we were talking about me stuffing up. The whole thing is just really disappointing and it's not going to happen again that's for sure."

He says he has copped the fine on the chin.

"It hurts but it's more about the footy now and what I have to do to get back,"he said.