ALI Barter had dreamed all her life of releasing a debut album. What the cover would look like. How it would sound. How it would be received.
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However, when the Melbourne indie artist's considerably-successful debut album A Suitable Girl was released in 2017, with popular singles Girlie Bits and Please Stay, Barter felt vacant.
"I had this expectation of how I was going to feel after I put out my first record," Barter reflects two years later.
"I thought I would feel really confident, really sure of myself. But when I put it out there I felt really exposed and unsure of myself. It wasn't that I was rejecting the production or the songs, it was all I could hear in it was me.
"I was uncomfortable with me at that time and I expected I would feel great. When I didn't, all I heard was the problem, which was me, so I didn't enjoy the experience."
It wasn't a mistake Barter was going to make twice. On her second album Hello, I'm Doing My Best, released on Friday, the polish of A Suitable Girl is scrubbed away.
The songs were recorded rawer and with more spontaneity to capture the '90s pop-punk sound of bands like Weezer and The Breeders. Most importantly, Barter didn't obsess.
"I'm releasing it and it's for the audience, they can do what they like with it," she said. "I'm letting it go.
"I made myself very unhappy comparing and expecting and wanting people to love it. This time around it's about being much more zen about it. Just write music, record it and let it go."
It's not just the guitars that sound rawer on album No.2. Barter has opened up with her lyrics to explore her history of eating disorders and alcoholism, the inevitability of failing to change (January) and struggling with the expectations of yourself and others (Big Ones).
The videos for the four singles Big Ones, January, Backseat and Ur A Piece Of Shit have also given Barter the opportunity to display her visual talents.
"I'm not very good with graphics, fonts and artwork, but with videos I have really clear ideas," she said. "I'm a big movie fan and a big soundtrack fan. I wanted my film clips to be like a '90s teen movie.
"I love movies like Heathers, Scream, Clueless, so I wanted them to be bright, colourful, funny and have a bit of horror."
The video for the latest single, Big Ones, was recorded in New York and references The Smashing Pumpkins' 1993 classic Today with Barter working in an ice cream van.
"The idea was originally for me to be driving around in a semi-trailer," she said. "I wanted to be driving a massive truck, but we couldn't get that. So that's immediately what we thought of when we were thinking of another vehicle."
Ali Barter performs at This That festival on November 9 at Wickham Park.
Josh Leeson
Josh Leeson is an entertainment and features journalist, specialising in music, at the Newcastle Herald. He first joined the masthead in 2008 after stints at the Namoi Valley Independent and Port Stephens Examiner and has previously covered sport including the Asian Cup, A-League, Surfest, cricket and rugby league.
Josh Leeson is an entertainment and features journalist, specialising in music, at the Newcastle Herald. He first joined the masthead in 2008 after stints at the Namoi Valley Independent and Port Stephens Examiner and has previously covered sport including the Asian Cup, A-League, Surfest, cricket and rugby league.
