It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
R.E.M singer Michael Stipe was fine with the end of the world.
But how do the rest of us feel? Not so keen on the idea, if the prolonged smoke haze is anything to go by.
The smoke is causing loads of people to think about the apocalypse. Not ScoMo, though. But he does send his thoughts and prayers.
Anyhow, if it's not already here, the apocalypse is surely coming.
Look on the bright side, you'll be able to live tweet the end of the world.
If you do have a sense of impending doom, you could probably use some advice.
Bear Grylls says survival can be summed up in three words - "never give up".
"The line between life or death is determined by what we are willing to do," Bear added, somewhat menacingly.
If the end is nigh, we're all going to need some tips on ways to survive. Bear may well believe cannibalism is a legitimate option if doomsday arrives. Others will opt for canned food. And don't forget coffee.
You might like to consider building a bunker to store your canned food and coffee. Just remember, this is the 21st century. No one wants a Cold War-style concrete and metal military bunker. That'd be way too bleak. People would rather die than survive in one of those things.
Google billionaire bunkers. You'll see how the 1 per cent are preparing. It'll give you some inspiration. Or aspiration. And make sure your bunker has Wi-Fi.
If the apocalypse really does end up coming, we just hope it's not a zombie apocalypse.
We've noticed former PM Malcolm Turnbull has been out and about lately.
He doesn't mind the odd tweet, either.
Like this one that relates to climate change contributing to bushfires: "We have the tech now to have zero-emission affordable reliable energy. The one thing we don't have is time," Turnbull said, in a very apocalyptic kind of tone.
Anyhow, Turnbull was in Warners Bay on Friday to open a tech hub called The Melt, which sounds like it has a climate change theme [it doesn't].
A Topics spy told us that Turnbull's dad once owned a Warners Bay hotel. His family holidayed at Wangi Wangi and used to go fishing around Pulbah Island. He now holidays in the Maldives [we're kidding about that last part, sort of].
It's A Sign
Another Topics spy drives to Swansea for work.
He noticed Taubmans paint had a huge roadside sign southbound on the Pacific Highway near Belmont Golf Club.
The slogan had promoted how the paint holds up to Sydney's weather. But in the last week, the sign was changed to say Newcastle instead of Sydney.
"I was a little peeved to start with that they used Sydney on the sign instead of Newcastle, as the sign is in Newcastle," our spy said.
"Good to see it was changed, probably because of complaints."
If you're tired of thinking about bushfires, climate change and the apocalypse, why not think of cheerleaders.
Better still, why not become a cheerleader.
Auditions for Newcastle Knights Cheerleaders will be held on Tuesday at McDonald-Jones Stadium at 6pm.