SO who would we like to coach the Newcastle Jets, after the unexpected decision this week to sack Ernie Merrick?
Sven-Goran Eriksson? Please.
Judging by what Sven was reportedly earning at the height of his career, I'd be surprised if he would answer the phone for anything less than a million bucks.
And it's not as if Eriksson, despite the vast sums he banked back in the day, would appear to have much idea anyway.
Even with superstars like David Beckham, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen, Rio Ferdinand, John Terry, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard at his disposal, he wasn't capable of steering England past the 2006 World Cup quarter-finals.
What would you expect him to extract from the talent on offer at the A-League's bottom-placed team?
Well, what about Harry Kewell, with his buddy Michael Bridges as an assistant coach?
Great idea. Maybe Jets officials can organise memberships at various golf resorts around the region to sweeten the deal.
Perhaps it's time for one of those blow-in foreigners who nobody knows from a bar of soap when they arrive, and who disappear equally anonymously a year or so later, with pockets lined.
Alternatively Jets owner Martin Lee might fancy employing a Chinese coach. I'd imagine that would go down well with the fans.
I guess that the only other option is to recycle one of those A-League coaches who have already been chewed up and spat out by rival clubs.
Maybe a John Aloisi, a Mike Mulvey, a Paul Okon or a Frank Farina. Does anyone have a number for Miron Bleiberg?
All of which left me thinking that the Jets' best bet might be simply to upgrade caretaker coach Craig Deans to full-time capacity.
Deans has served a long apprenticeship, he understands the Newcastle football community, and he's already shown he can handle the hot seat, steering the Jets to two wins from three A-League games during his interim stint in the hot seat, in 2011-12.
But then I had one of those lightbulb moments.
Why not offer the job to a man who played at the highest level, whose reputation commands respect, who is as proud a Novocastrian as you will meet, and who still has a passion for the game that appears impossible to extinguish?
I'm talking, of course, about the one and only Craig Johnston.
OK, I know what you're thinking. Johnston is 59 and to my knowledge has never coached a senior team, let alone at professional level.
I'm not sure if he has any of the Pro Licences or myriad other certificates required to become an A-League head coach.
But is there any way a training course could provide an education to rival what Johnston learned during a trail-blazing career in England, which culminated in him spending eight seasons with mighty Liverpool, who at the time were the finest club team in the world? He's probably forgotten more than most qualified coaches will ever learn from any curriculum.
I'm not proposing that the Jets should appoint him in a traditional head-coach role.
I'd imagine he would be more valuable as an overseer, a manager, in a similar capacity that has made Mal Meninga so successful with both the Queensland Origin and Kangaroos rugby league teams.
He would need a couple of assistants, Deans and perhaps some other bright prospect, who would be in charge of logistics such as video analysis and liaising with the strength-and-conditioning staff and physios.
Johnston's main tasks would be to motivate the current players, help recruit new ones, and promote the Jets' brand via his enormous profile.
Can you imagine how much attention his appointment would receive?
It would be huge news from Merewether to Merseyside and everywhere in between.
Every post-match press conference would attract saturation coverage. The Jets would instantly guarantee themselves previously unimaginable media spotlight.
And it need not be a gimmick.
Johnston's ongoing involvement in junior coaching, in particular via the Supaskills clinics he has developed, would suggest he retains a good grasp of tactics and techniques.
And nobody has a better understanding of the work ethic needed to succeed at professional level. His own illustrious career is evidence of that.
Moreover, his sheer presence would be enough to provide inspiration for Newcastle's players.
I can remember back in 2012, before a game against Sydney FC, Johnston addressed the Jets in the dressing room before kick-off.
"You could have heard a pin drop in there," Jets chairman Ray Baartz said afterwards. "The players were in awe of him."
"He probably talked for about 15 minutes and no one moved," coach Gary van Egmond added. "It was very inspiring."
Newcastle duly beat their big-name opponents 2-1.
Strikes me as just the sort of emotional catalyst the Jets could use not just now, but on a weekly basis.
Johnston's playing career, of course, was the ultimate fairytale. Who's to say he couldn't have the same impact as a coach?
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