How is the Love Me Tinder tour going? Have the audience been any help when it comes to you and your wandering eye?

The tour is going through the roof a bit like my big hairs. People are going mental over this show. My audiences are legendary, expressive and often very good-looking. That's the good news and the bad news. Life is a visual medium, my 20/20 functional eyes are often arguing with my won't power which is a level higher than my willpower. Us humans are part animal and it's important to tame the beast within.

Have you had any experience with "catfishing"?

No, thank God. Listen, I'm paranoid by nature. So my suspicion has been a very useful asset to me. I know some people go to great lengths to get attention. I, however, was born with charisma, hotness and street smarts. That is a trifecta that has kept my reputation intact. In other words I'm not thick, gullible or desperate.

How is your Uncle Vasili faring online? Has he settled down yet?

My Uncle Vasili is killing it online, offline and in every line he's ever stood in. Why? Now that is the great mystery. I suppose in an era of political correctness he stands out as being old-school - a sleaze bag with a heart. A very attractive combo for women who like to be flirted with by a master of bad lines. And while other men are afraid of making moves, he is capitalising. Women can't help but love him. Go figure.

You have been to Newcastle before. Any memorable moments worth sharing?

I love Newcastle and all its peeps. The audiences are very vocal and excitable. I remember being there in the late '80s with Wogs Out Of Work and it has only gotten better and better since. I love me a bit of charming Skippy. I married one called Shane Bradley Cooper and there's the evidence of that. I can't help but love the fit, freckly, cinnamon-faced surfies and tradies. Good thanks, all right. Newcastle men are very tempting. I have to keep my wits about me.

Have you performed in the Spiegeltent before?

Never. I cannot wait. It's going to be epic! How excitement and a half.

What does 2020 hold in store for Effie?

I am touring the whole time. I'm a national treasure, so I have to tour nationally. I'm like that show The Leyland Brothers where they went everywhere, man, except on my own. Making people laugh and giving them a thrill that they are desperate for. I'm like a joyful internal tattoo that they won't forget getting. See youse there superstars. Youse won't regret it!!!

While you're with us, did you know the Newcastle Herald offers breaking news alerts, daily email newsletters and more? Keep up to date with all the local news - sign up here