Poor old Todd. He's been copping heaps over the new "Simply the Best" advertisement, which the critics have labelled "too politicised".

I'm a bit worried there will be a scene featuring the Member for Honolulu, Scotty from Marketing, banging the esky lid and singing the team song in the Cronulla dressing-room, before heading off to Engadine McDonald's to treat himself to a hot-fudge sundae.

Fortunately the NRL steers clear of Scomo, although no doubt his head will shamelessly pop up at some point in the Sharkies' shed ... unless, of course, he disappears on an overseas holiday during a time of national crisis.

A LONG-TIME reader contacts me after perusing my colleague Barry Toohey's countdown of the Knights' top-50 ever players.

He suggests a follow-up feature: "What about the Knights' 50 biggest jerks?"

(Except he doesn't use the word "jerks").

It's an interesting concept, albeit out of left-field.

I reckon it would rate the house down, but the company's defamation lawyers aren't so enthusiastic.

If it ever gets the go-ahead, I'm saying we can't just restrict it to players. Let's throw in coaches and administrators as well.

The toughest selection decisions might be not who to include, but who to leave out. Suffice to say there will be plenty of contenders from the era 2011-2014.

ENGLAND rugby union prop Joe Marler raises eyebrows around the world by grabbing the genitals of Wales captain Alun Wyn Jones during the rah-rah Test match at Twickenham.

As squirrel grips go, it's surely at the less-brutal end of the spectrum.

I'd say it's a grade-one or grade-two offence, at worst.

Indeed it reminds me of the incident at Brookvale Oval a few years ago when Knights prop Korbin Sims renewed acquaintances with former teammate Willie Mason by giving him an affectionate fondle.

Sims escaped suspension but received a "concerning act" notice from the NRL, who warned him to keep his hands off big Willie's willy.

They apparently treat such matters far more seriously in the 15-man code.

According to the laws of rugby, "grabbing, twisting or squeezing the genitals (and/or breasts in the case of female players)" can lead to a ban ranging from 12 weeks (low end) to 208 weeks (maximum).

Rugby, of course, is the game they play in heaven ... unless you happen to get sent to purgatory.

FORMER Wales rugby union captain Gareth Thomas, who is commentating at Twickenham, finds himself under siege after trying to make light of the Marler-Wyn Jones situation.

"It would never have happened in my day and I'm really upset about that - because if it had I would have never retired," quips Thomas, who revealed in 2009 he was gay.

Thomas cops a bit of a pasting on social media, prompting him to reply: "To the VERY small minority of people who were offended by my comment yesterday I apologise. I tried to find humour in a situation. That doesn't mean I condone it, it means I wanted it to not be an issue."

The authorities don't see the funny side and cite Marler, amid speculation about a possible season-ending ban.

Marler responds to the furore by posting three words on Twitter: "Bollocks. Complete bollocks."

It is unclear whether this is his opinion or a clarification of exactly what he manhandled.

I wonder what Israel Folau makes of all this. I guess he'll share his thoughts on Instagram in the near future.

THE NRL's first coronavirus casualty is the good old-fashioned handshake, which has been replaced at the Sydney Roosters by the fist bump.

Someone should let the Knights know ... at today's media opportunity I shake hands with at least half a dozen of them.

Here's hoping I didn't infect anyone. Or vice versa.

THE Roosters complete the signing of Josh Morris, twin brother of Brett, apparently unaware of the dramas this could cause.

The Old Fox of Redfern was so confused by the Burgess twins he sent one of them - either George or Tom, he's not quite sure - back to England.

And new Knights coach Adam O'Brien is finding it so hard to tell the Saifitis apart that he's insisting Daniel wears white boots and Jacob black ones.

Meanwhile, just as NRL officials are thinking they escaped the pre-season lightly, after a couple of bashings in Bali and a stabbing allegation, along comes a belated sex scandal.

The Bulldogs stand down Corey Harawira-Naera and Jayden Okunbor amid revelations that, after a trial game in Port Macquarie, they invited two schoolgirls back to their hotel rooms ... presumably not to help with their homework.

They say you can't teach old dogs new tricks, but I guess this proves that new Dogs can learn old tricks.

SO here we are, just one sleep before the new season kicks off. It's a campaign that the Novocastrian faithful will approach with high hopes, but also a sense of trepidation.

Last year, when the going got tough, the Knights started planning Mad Monday.

Newcastle fans don't ask for much. Just a team who roll up their sleeves and have a dig each week.

Seven Days is confident that will be the case in 2020. If the above photo of Lachlan Fitzgibbon is any indication, the Knights are ready to have a real crack.

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