THURSDAY
It was fast. It was furious. It was, as Trumpy would say, fake crowd noise.
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Those behind the volume levels of television broadcasters managed to make soundwaves in the sporting world following the NRL's resumption from a 67-day hiatus with supporters banned from attending venues as part of coronavirus restrictions.
Instead, lifesize cardboard cut outs of XXXX Bill and other "Celebrity Head" themed punters fill up some of the empty stands while those at home heard a "white-noise" style SFX coming through their sets during the return fixture and a chorus of cheers when points were scored.
Or as Renee Gartner, boxer and daughter of the former Manly, Balmain and Easts international nicknamed Frog Eyes, describes via the 50 Shades Of Twitter: "Fake footy noise.... like a woman faking an orgasm - sure something's happening but ... meh."
The ongoing challenge for producers will be improving that content in 2020, so maybe adding some good old fashioned "get him onside", "he's been doing it all day" and "are your eyes painted on" could jazz it up a bit.
From a footy end the slippery Eels get the win north of the border and renowned sports commentator Richard Hinds reminds us all on social media: "How many times have I told myself 'never tip the Broncos during a pandemic!' Idiot."
FRIDAY
What were you doing 356 days ago?
Holidaying in Vanuatu? Collecting wood for the fire? A night out at the pub without any restrictions whatsoever (besides RSA, lockout laws and your partner's curfew)? I don't even remember what I had for breakfast so how would I know? Couldn't care less, couldn't give a rats?
Well, for the Gold Coast Titans, June 9 last year marks the last time they won an NRL game. On that particular occasion the men from the glitter strip snuck home 6-4 over those from nearby Bris-Vegas.
Of course, a COVID-19 outbreak hasn't helped their cause with less chances than usual to rectify the gap between singing the victory song and searching for two competition points.
However, the duration of defeats gets extended with the visitors thumped by the Cowboys.
Elsewhere, the Chooks beat the Bunnies to leave club switcher Latrell Mitchell wondering if Nathan Cleary's social-distancing, self-isolating, I-lied suspension could have also been applied to his recent misdemeanor.
SATURDAY
Canberra get the points against the Storm, but the Raiders can't get out of Melbourne.
Last year's grand finalists were looking at a horror round-trip home - flying to Sydney before a bus ride back to the nation's capital because fog covered Mount Ainslie and surrounds.
Green Machine coach Ricky Stuart skipped the post-match press conference, not because he was over journalists, referees or draw makers, but to race from AAMI Park to the airport to sort out the travel transfer mess ASAP.
"Apparently we won't know until we are in the air but knowing our luck with travel after some of the scenarios we had last year we will be going to Sydney," Sticky said in a rush.
However, the Knights' upcoming opponents eventually touched down in Canberra at 12:20am with a "massive cheer" for the very popular pilot.
SUNDAY
Much has been made of the inspirational speeches delivered by Knights coach Adam O'Brien and captain Mitchell Pearce, at half-time and full-time respectively, as part of Newcastle's remarkable 14-all draw with the Panthers at Campbelltown Stadium on Sunday.
7 Days In League has this exclusive clip: "I'll tell you this, in any fight it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life any more it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six inches in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it."
Come to think of it, that was Al Pachino's movie character Tony D'Amato in Any Given Sunday. But you get the drift. What a game and what a performance.
MONDAY
One of the hard hitting questions faced by Knights rookie Tex Hoy the morning after his NRL debut was "how many VBs did he [dad and former professional surfer Matt] have on the couch yesterday?"
The 20-year-old's response was as sharp as his on-field showing: "I reckon he probably had VB's Saturday night and went all the way through if you ask me."
TUESDAY
Junior rugby league players from Merewether to Merriwa dust off their game-day boots and only have to play backyard fixtures for another month with competitions given the NSW government's green light to go ahead from July 1.
The state's senior campaigns, including Newcastle RL, are still waiting for any such confirmation.
Meanwhile, the Knights' hooker curse strikes again with Connor Watson requiring surgery on his injured ankle and joining the likes of Jayden Brailey and Slade Griffin in the recent No.9 casualty ward.
WEDNESDAY
Here's a bit of bittersweet analysis from one of Roy Morgan's research gurus.
"ARL Commission chairman Peter V'Landys' is a controversial figure but his hard work has given the NRL and its 16 clubs a chance to 'own' the domestic sporting landscape over the next two weeks," Julian McCrann said.
"This is welcome news for a code that has dealt with many off-field scandals in recent years and has experienced declining TV viewership across all age groups since 2016."
IN OTHER NEWS:
- Stationary RBTs, drug tests return ahead of June long weekend
- The koala and the wombat who became best friends in lockdown
- Weight lifted but pain still being felt as gyms set to reopen
- Paramedics call off industrial action as parliament votes against public sector wage freeze
- Watson facing surgery as hooker curse strikes the Knights again