When it comes to assertive communication, when we try to express a need or ask for what we want, many of us develop a style - keeping quiet, passively letting people know what we want without using words, building resentment and exploding. This can be problematic for us.
This style of communication can often begin in childhood, where we might learn from a parent who explodes that we must walk on eggshells and not express a need. Or, with busy parents, learn that our needs are not as important as all the other things happening in their world. Or, with a fragile parent, learn that we can't say how we feel or not be OK because that parent may not be able to bear it.
Therefore we learn that we can't be loved at the same time as expressing ourselves.
These habits of being quiet, or good, compliant or avoidant, are adaptive in childhood. But it can continue into adulthood as a kind of habit, even when we don't need them anymore.
When it comes to communicating or negotiating for what you want, it can be useful to examine these old habits and to start to consider if there is another way to manage these situations.
There may be the fear that you will be rejected. But it's useful to come at this from the perspective of an adult who has more skills and power than the child version of you. You'll realise that even if this happens you will survive, and that, although changing this habit could be a challenge, you will be OK.