I'm never a good loser at the best of times.
I'm not one to want to hang around at the end of a game after a loss and have a conversation and a joke with a rival player. That's not me. Never has been. I'll try and do the right thing and shake a few hands but I'll be doing it through gritted teeth.
Other guys are different. They are happy to catch up with a mate in a rival team they maybe haven't seen for a while and have a chat. That doesn't mean the defeat didn't hurt. Their make-up is just different to mine.
I guess you could call me a sore loser. The bottom line is I'm ultra competitive and I hate losing. Have done since I was a kid. And I'm even filthier after we've lost if I know we should have won.
The defeat to the Eels last Sunday was a case in point. Parra defended great but we beat ourselves. We didn't stay composed, executed poorly and came up with too many errors. That's on us.
So when the siren sounded to end it, I wasn't a happy camper. I politely approached the referee as he walked off to see if he would clarify a few things for me but he brushed me which was fair enough.
I wasn't having a go at him at all but he probably knew it was fruitless talking to me because nothing was going to change the result. And like I said, the loss was on us. We got what we deserved.
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So how long does it take me to get over a game like that? I'm generally still stewing a few days later if i'm being honest. I brushed the media afterwards, eventually got myself showered and changed and went home and sat down and watched the game intently again. Unfortunately, our performance didn't get any better.
I got to bed around 1am but tossed and turned for five hours before getting up at 6. It wasn't until we did our full review of the game with the coaches on Tuesday that I finally put the game to bed and started to really focus on the South Sydney Rabbitohs.
Making the defeat to the Eels even harder to take is the loss of DSaf for an extended period.
It's massive for us. It's tough when you get some back, only to lose others. I'm pretty gutted. He's been one of our best this season and this is a crucial period of games we are coming into starting with Souths on Saturday at Bankwest.
In a positive, it gives his brother an opportunity to step up and grab the starting spot and we've got Barney [Mitch Barnett] coming back to stiffen us up plus obviously Connor [Watson] and Sione [Mata'utia].
I've watched a fair bit of Souths this season and they'll be a big assignment for us. They are unpredictable but I reckon their key players, halves Adam Reynolds and Cody Walker and Cookie [Damien Cook] at hooker are all really starting to hit their straps.
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