Sometimes, the customer needs a good kick in the pants.

In these days of fear and uncertainty, most people are just trying to keep it together. They are endeavouring to do the right thing in order to protect themselves and, here's the key, others.

They know it's not just about them.

It's about everyone.

This seems to be a problematic concept for some personality types who, for whatever reason, enjoy sparring with retail staff over all manner of things. Things that retail staff usually have no control over.

Calling out bad service or shoddy goods is, of course, legitimate. But, as my Nan used to say, "Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it". I'd add, "and why you are saying it".

At this time I feel sorry for all those brave members of society who got a job after describing themselves on their CV as a "people person". All sorts of businesses, big and small, benefit greatly from employing people who enjoy, and are good at, dealing with "the public".

As someone with severely limited patience for randomly obstreperous types, I marvel at how a genuine people person operates.

It is almost a superpower. It's beyond me how they can listen patiently as a random member of the public, who is grasping at straws of imaginary control, rants at them about rights and how everyone (except them) is a bit thick.

As we have seen, it's all kicking off in retail land.

When I speculated last week that there could be some big baby dummy spits in Australia regarding basic public health directives, I didn't think it would be so swift.

Armed with facts gleaned from the Google Institute (closely aligned with the Ponds Institute), a non-mask wearer put on a show in Bunnings in Melbourne. I say show, because she filmed it. It was a ripper of an episode. I think she shot a second instalment, but I'd seen enough.

She's not acting up alone. Non-masked avengers are springing up everywhere, eager to air their ignorance and get their smug mugs on social media or, even better, morning TV.

Clearly some rampant ravers are following a script. They don't want to fluff their lines while calling out the ignorant masses for being sheep. Sometimes they call those who don't listen to them "sheeple".

See what they did there? Clever.

Not really, it was in the script.

Random argumentative attention seekers rarely accept advice, but I'll give it a crack.

If you don't want to respect the perfectly reasonable requests set out by a business, that's fine. Don't shop there. Stay away. That'd be great.

I'd suggest that those who are fed up with attention seekers making this situation harder than it has to be, would love it if you also stayed away from them.

I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from me. Actually, I'd highly recommend it, especially if you are building up to an adult tantrum that involves shouting references from either the Bible, a dubious legal document or some brainiac from your online chat group.

I'd suggest also that the retail assistants who are forced to listen to your indulgent carry-on, would be thrilled if they never had to see your tiresome face again.

Lastly, buy online.

Use the magic interwebber machine for not only your irrefutable facts, but shopping.

Make sure the goods are delivered to your door. However, resist the urge to berate the delivery person for observing social distancing, or whatever else you think is threatening your fragile human rights.

Please, stay inside.

I'm going to end my rant at ranters with a general call to stop besmirching the good name of Karen.

It's unfair to all the fine Karens out there and far from inclusive.

After extensive research at the Google Institute, I've nailed down a worthy replacement name: Ranty McRantface.

I'll get it printed on a range of PPE merchandise, with all proceeds going to Narcissists Anonymous. (Merchandise available only online).

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