As a foster parent, Nancy* says the hard times are worth the heart-melting moments of progress she sees in the children, who have often come from difficult backgrounds.
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"We had an older one who acted like the parent," the Edgeworth mum said.
"It took a long time to teach him he could step back but not want him to feel like he wasn't important.
"He didn't have to worry about bathing the other kids. He didn't have to make sure they had food.
"He could be a child again. He could go and have fun because he knew dinner was going to be on the table that night.
"To see when he did learn he could take that step back, it was one of the biggest rewarding moments.
"To know it's not going to be a cycle that they're going to repeat."
September is Foster Care Month and this week is Child Protection Week. The theme this year is "putting children first" and Nancy said that is exactly her motivation in caring for the children, and what she believes is the most important thing when taking the step to become a foster parent.
Nancy and her partner Jason* decided to foster 18 years ago after they couldn't have any more biological children following the birth of their second child.
"We always wanted to have more," Nancy said.
"We had a friend who was fostering, and we thought 'we could probably do that'. We saw how rewarding it looked."
They have since fostered seven children - some they took in as babies, while the oldest came into their care at the age of 10.
Just like all other families, they have their ups and downs.
"We have teenagers, so you have your normal teenage rows," Nancy said.
"But you have your proud moments when you watch them achieve all they want to achieve.
"We had two go off to uni this year. One is working full time virtually. It's quite rewarding."
Nancy said raising the kids had been seven different experiences, depending on the age they entered foster care, their background and their personality.
"You have to learn to grow with and accept each personality," she said. "It can be tricky.
"Some can come with traumatic backgrounds, so you have to tread water a bit.
"You've just got to try to help the kids get through whatever they may have to.
"It's just got to be all about them. If you're not in it for the kids then you shouldn't be in it at all."
But despite their different needs, Nancy said she treated them all the same as if they were biological children.
She also said she and Jason had made sure to be honest with all the children and kept the door open with their biological families.
"We never want to hide anything from them," Nancy said.
"Some of them call us mum, others don't. It's their choice.
"One has a tummy mummy and a mum. We never stop them from seeing their parents if they want to."
Nancy and Jason have also been granted guardianship for two of the children, which allows them to make more decisions for the children without having to contact the government.
"It just makes life a lot easier with paperwork and things," Nancy said.
It's just got to be all about them. If you're not in it for the kids then you shouldn't be in it at all.
- Foster parent *Nancy
They most recently became guardians for their youngest foster child, Ryan*, who they have cared for since he was discharged from hospital as a baby.
"We had just gone into doing short-term care and respite, and we got a call asking if we could take him on," Nancy said.
"We just fell in love with him, he fits in so perfectly.
Ryan was born premature, but now three, Nancy said he was now thriving and meeting or exceeding all of his milestones.
"He's doing wonderful," she said.
"He asks lots of questions. He goes to preschool two days a week and loves it."
*Names changed due to legal reasons.
Sage Swinton
Sage Swinton is a news reporter who was born and bred in the Hunter. She has been with the Newcastle Herald since June 2020, and covers Newcastle council as well as other general news.
Sage Swinton is a news reporter who was born and bred in the Hunter. She has been with the Newcastle Herald since June 2020, and covers Newcastle council as well as other general news.
