THURSDAY
CONSPIRACY theorists are in meltdown after the Bunnies suffer a costly 26-16 loss to cellar-dwelling easybeats Canterbury.
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According to unreliable scuttlebutt floating around in the sewer known as social media, this is all part of a Machiavellian plot orchestrated by the Old Fox of Redfern.
The theory goes that the Fox is so bitter and twisted about the Broncos he'd happily lend a helping hand to ensure they get the wooden spoon. Nudge nudge, wink, wink.
I don't believe a word of this nonsense. Sure, the Fox might be an Olympic-class grudge bearer, but my guess is he has performance-based incentive clauses in his contract, and we all know nothing stands between the Fox and a dollar.
The great man offers the following appraisal of his team's performance: "I think it's more of an attitude problem ... some of our players have a pretty casual outlook sometimes on how they play their football."
Maybe so, but I haven't heard any reports about Souths players popping in for a casual bite to eat at an Italian restaurant.
FRIDAY
ANDREW Voss recalls some of rugby league's most famous garbage collectors in his quirky Foxtel show The Fan.
The usual suspects get a run - Cement Gillespie and Olsen Filipaina - and I find myself reflecting nostalgically on a golden era when footy players were little Aussie battlers who lived in the real world.
My own favourite footballing dustman was the club-hopping utility back Scott Wilson, whose career featured more headlines about extra-curricular activities than anything he achieved on the field.
I remember staying at a place in Coogee back in the early '90s, and my host mentioned that Wilson was the local garbo.
Sure enough, when the truck roused me at 6am the next day, I peaked out through the curtains and there was our Scotty, emptying out the wheely-bins.
It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it.
SATURDAY
THERE is a sense of deja vu at the SCG when Josh Dugan goes down with what appears to be a career-threatening injury in Cronulla's 34-18 loss to the Chooks.
In most cases, once a player has been seriously hurt the referee immediately signals time out, but on this occasion Ben Cummins allows play to proceed while Dugan is receiving treatment.
It seems a tad harsh but, then again, the problematic Dugan suffers a career-threatening injury almost every time he touches the ball, makes a tackle, or guzzles a Bacardi Breezer.
Invariably he regains his feet, limps back into position, and plays out the game.
Either Duges is the bravest player in the NRL, or the biggest drama queen.
I'll let you be the judge of that.
SUNDAY
INTERIM Dragons coach Dean Young lays the boot into his team after their 42-18 pizzling from the Knights.
"We wouldn't have beaten Dapto today, the way we played that first half," Young fumes.
That's a bit savage, I think to myself.
I mean Dapto are no Warilla Gorillas, but they're no mugs.
As if Young's sledge wasn't insulting enough, Fotxel host Yvonne Sampson later refers to them as the "Dapto Dogs", when for more than 100 years they have been proudly known as the Dapto Canaries.
To make it even worse, Young is a Dapto junior. With "friends" like that throwing you under the bus, who needs enemies?
Meanwhile, with precision timing, Ricky Stuart delivers a spray at the referees. I guess that means the finals must be looming large on the horizon.
MONDAY
THERE is more riding on the outcome of Newcastle's last-round clash with Gold Coast Titans than just a potential home final for the Knights.
Many months ago, Triple M commentator Anthony Maroon joked that if the Titans won five games in a row, he would undergo a sex change.
Well, now the Titans have racked up four in a row and Maroon's Triple M mates are threatening to form a lynch mob and drag him to the nearest cosmetic surgeon.
In other news, James Bracey poses the question on 100% Footy: "Will the Broncos win the wooden spoon?"
This is one of my pet hates.
Surely nobody "wins" the wooden spoon, given that the biggest losers every year end up with the dreaded metaphorical utensil.
I'd say you collect the wooden spoon, or receive the wooden spoon.
Alternatively, you finished stoney motheless last. Whatever the case, nobody could possibly deny that the Broncos will be worthy recipients.
TUESDAY
VIDEO footage emerges of Gold Coast Suns AFL coach Stuart Dew urinating outside a Queensland pub.
Aerial ping pong officials must be getting desperate, amid speculation they leaked the leak to media outlets.
These publicity stunts to promote their grand final in Brisbane are becoming a weekly event.
WEDNESDAY
ROOSTERS co-captain Jake Friend reveals he'll be back for more in 2021.
"I'm all sorted for next year," the veteran hooker declares.
"I am hoping that will be all signed and sealed in the next few weeks and I'll be sticking around here at the Roosters. There are a few little things to tick off. We will hopefully be able to announce that in the next few weeks."
It's touching to note that, after all this time, the Roosters are still in need of a Friend indeed.