This news does not sit well with my Herald colleague James Gardiner, a fomer Lord Mayor of Dubbo.

Gardiner recalls how last time the Bunnies ventured to the Golden West, for a trial game 20-odd years ago, they disgraced themselves when Julian O'Neill took a now-infamous pit stop in Jeremy Schloss's shoe.

James points out that the long drops in Dubbo are perfectly functional, and that some motels these days even have running water and electricity. Mind you, he suggests that in the interests of all parties, appropriate accommodation has to be found for the Rabbitohs ... behind bars in either Dubbo jail or Western Plains Zoo.

AUSSIE cricket legend Shane Warne reveals his plans to enlist follically challenged rugby league stars to sign up for Advanced Hair-style makeovers.

"Oh I'd like to get plenty of the NRL boys in," Warney says. "We can sort them out. Let's get them all in.''

The obvious targets include Cameron Smith and Boyd Cordner, whose melons are starting to look a bit like Ricky Ponting's before it made a miraculous and mysterious comeback late in his career.

Personally, I reckon the Old Fox of Redfern would make an ideal Advanced Hair ambassador.

The Fox was once a massive fan of the combover, but these days all that remains are a couple of forlorn tufts, clinging on like weeds in a desert. I've been thinking for a long time that the master coach needed to buy a set of clippers, but Warney is spruiking an alternative.

"They are no longer wigs and it is not like it was 30 or 40 years ago," he says.

"There are plenty of people walking around that have had procedures and you wouldn't even know ... I regrow my own hair.

"My whole head is my own hair except for my crown. I had hair transplanted into my crown. I have a procedure there once every six weeks or so."

I've always wondered about these hair transplants. I mean, where does it come from?

VETERAN centre Michael Jennings calls Parramatta officials at 7am on the day of their semi-final clash with the Bunnies to explain he's unavailable after testing positive.

No worries, they say. Take plenty of Codral and we'll catch you after your two weeks in isolation.

It's then Jenko reveals he hasn't tested positive to the bubonic plague, but actually to a banned steroid.

No worries, they say. We'll catch you in four years.

Jennings' angst is put into context by news that St George Illawarra utility back Tristan Sailor has spent the night in jail before being bailed on a sexual-assault charge. It's just a shame the 22-year-old son of former dual international Wendell Sailor has already finished up at the Dragons, because Jack De Belin could have done with a training partner.

Meanwhile, the highlight of Souths' win against Parra occurs in the dressing rooms afterwards, when Channel Nine's cameras zoom in on a dubious tackle. A wedding tackle, to be precise. I guess the player who has been unwittingly exposed now qualifies as a playboy Bunny.

A SUNDAY gossip column makes mention of an unnamed Bulldogs player who "was removed from an eastern suburbs hotel on Friday night by security guards for behaving like a goose".

How embarrassing.

Here we are, with 12 of the NRL's 16 teams now out of their "bubbles" and in full off-season mode, and this is the best they can come up with?

Whatever happened to players on bar tables, dropping their strides to the tune of Sweet Caroline?

Whetever happened to pub crawls down Hunter Street in op-shop drag?

Modern-day rugby league players are a pathetic imitation of their illustrious predecessors from bygone eras, but Seven Days has faith in human nature.

At some point in the next couple of weeks, a player (or players) will disgrace themselves on Mad Monday.

Mark my words.

SO much for the theory that the on-line trolls who hounded poor old Anthony Seibold during his disastrous stint at the Broncos were people in high places.

Seibs hired so-called cyber-security experts to hunt down the grubs and sue their backsides off.

All they've come up, the Sydney Morning Herald reports, is "a former part-time refereeing official who was involved in country rugby league". According to the SMH: "It is alleged the person forwarded on the rumours about Seibold, rather than instigating them, but their status in the game was so minor the matter was not taken any further by head office."

Hardly worth the time and effort, was it?

KNIGHTS coach Adam O'Brien dismisses rumours that the club is considering releasing skipper Mitchell Pearce, amid speculation that he might be on his way back to the Roosters.

Who makes this stuff up?

Pearcey's not silly. He knows the Knights are on the way up, with a bullet, and the Chooks' great era is over. Indeed, I'm fearlessly predicting the wooden spoon will end up in Bondi next season.

I NOTICE council staff removing the goalposts at my local oval, an annual event that invariably leaves me with mixed emotions.

It's nice to know that summer is just around the corner, but at the same time it's always a bit depressing to be reminded that there will be no footy for months.

Let's hope next season starts and finishes without interruption. Is that too much to ask?