THERE were two musical moments during Hope Defteros' teenage years which proved pivotal in her transformation into singer-songwriter Hope D.
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Firstly there was the YouTube video for the song She, by English indie-folk artist Dodie, which openly discussed the desire of one woman for another.
For a confused and alienated student attending a conservative Brisbane Catholic high school, it felt groundbreaking. It normalised the queer feelings she felt.
"I remember watching that video and hearing the song and feeling like wow, I've never felt so comforted and safe and so validated to know I'm not some crazy person who has these feelings that are abnormal," Defteros says.
"Having that around me let me know that these feelings are OK. I had nothing like that. I always felt everything I felt was abnormal.
"When I watched that it was like wow, not only do these people feel that, but all the people who watched that and are commenting feel that. You feel a sense of community."
The next moment which shaped her pathway into music was Byron Bay's Bluesfest in 2015.
The then 16-year-old Defteros watched Irish singer-songwriter Hozier and was captivated by the Take Me To Church hit-maker. She knew music was her future.
"I listened to him describe a song and then he played it and I was just thought this is exactly what I wanna do," she remembers.
"I got a tattoo to mark that moment in my life because that's when I knew I wanted to stand on a stage and tell people my stories."
Six years later Defteros is getting another tattoo this week to mark another milestone in her life.
Hope D's single Second was voted 69th in the triple J Hottest 100 last month to cap off a meteoric rise for the Brisbane indie-pop artist over the past 12 months.
"I didn't think it would be on there and it's such a good number as well," the 21-year-old says. "That was my first Hottest 100 so I'm definitely getting a 69 tattoo."
In May 2019 Hope D released her first single Swim, which explores coming out as gay as a 15-year-old and the alienation she experienced.
The literal way I got out of it was I got so sick of losing and of waking up with literally no money and feeling sick in my stomach.
- Hope D
It struck a chord with triple j listeners and went into high rotation. The singles Second, Common Denominator and Miscommunicate followed and continued to build her fan base due to her honest and personal brand of songwriting.
Hope D's mix of indie, pop and hip-hop - reminiscent of artists like G Flip, Alex Lahey and Amy Shark - also carries plenty of commercial crossover potential.
The open book of Hope D's life turned another page earlier this month with the release of her debut EP Cash Only.
Cash Only holds no punches. It explores Defteros' sense of alienation, toxic relationships and her battle with a gambling addiction.
Defteros says she didn't hesitate being blatantly honest about her personal struggles in her music.
"The first thing I released was Swim and that was in 2019 and it was very scary to put it out there, but I want to do things for people just like people in the music industry have done things for me," she says, citing Dodie's track She.
"For example, if I'd heard Swim when I was coming out it would have helped me so much.
"I did hear songs like that and it did help me so much, so I wanted to be that for someone else.
"The chances are there's gonna be a fair few people who can relate to that and feel better hearing that kind of thing.
"That's what I wanna do with music to make sure people know they're not alone in the form of music."
Addiction is a common theme in music, but often of the drug and alcohol variety. On Cash Only's opening track Addict, Defteros describes her battle with gambling, and namely poker machines.
When Defteros was 18 she attended a friend's birthday at Jupiter's Casino on the Gold Coast and won $75 from a poker machine. She was instantly hooked.
It kicked off a destructive period where every cent Defteros earned from cover gigs was ploughed into poker machines or roulettes tables. It created a traumatic cycle of winning, losing, drinking, crying and taking sleeping pills to calm her whirling brain.
"The literal way I got out of it was I got so sick of losing and of waking up with literally no money and feeling sick in my stomach," she says.
"I was so tired of waking up feeling sick that I just stopped going and it was the best thing ever."
You get the sense Defteros has already jammed plenty of living into her 21 years. She has the scars, and the learned experience, to prove it.
In March she'll launch her biggest tour to support Cash Only with her all-female all-queer band. COVID-19 meant her 2020 performances were limited to Queensland.
"I'm so freaking excited," she says. "There's lots of places on this tour I've never been to before."
Hope D will perform two shows at the Hamilton Station Hotel on March 26.
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