Sometimes, in therapy, adults describe an unremarkable childhood, where they experienced no violence or abuse, and recalled having all their physical needs met, but still felt chronic shame and that they were unlovable as adults.

It may be the strategies they have employed to deal with their emotional pain that bring them to counselling, such as substance misuse, or overwork in order to feel worthy.

Emotional neglect in childhood is not as easy to detect from the outside, as families appear to be meeting all the children's basics needs.

But sometimes these children can be subtly ignored. They get the message that other things are more important than them, such as a sibling's needs, work or a social life.

This, of course, can be felt occasionally, but it becomes a problem when a child feels this way most of the time.

It might appear that everything is fine, yet psychologist William James suggests that indifference is incredibly painful.

Small children are always determined, perhaps for reasons of survival, to maintain an idealised image of their parents.

So, if they are ignored, they will conclude that they are somehow unlovable, unworthy or bad. This story can continue a person's whole life.

But, without necessarily the need to blame parents who perhaps were doing the best they could with their own childhood experience, it can be powerful to understand that they have always been worthy of love.