THURSDAY
CAMERON Smith hasn't wasted any time finding a new career path after his recent retirement from rugby league.
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Smith receives the Greg Norman Medal as Australia's best-performing golfer of the year, edging out his Presidents Cup teammate Adam Scott and women's ace Minjee Lee for the honour on Wednesday night.
"That's awesome," Smith says. "I'm speechless."
Norman tells Smith he was a clear-cut winner in his eyes.
"I've been a huge fan of yours. I watch just about every tournament you play," says the Great White Shark.
"I just love your tenacity on the golf course. You know the game of golf is more than just power."
FRIDAY
CORRECTION: Cameron Smith, Australia's No.1 golfer, is apparently not the same Cameron Smith who played in a record 430 NRL games and captained Melbourne Storm to five grand final victories.
Who'd have thunk? You learn something new every day in this joint.
In the graveyard-shift game at Wollongong, the Dragons make it two wins in a row, sparking speculation that they will extend coach Anthony Griffin's contract by another 10 years.
At ANZ Stadium, Souths owner Russell Crowe entertains fellow Hollywood movie stars Liam Hemsworth and Natalie Portman in his corporate box as the Bunnies put the cleaners through the Roosters.
It's not a bad publicity stunt, but I reckon Rusty missed an opportunity to take it to the next level. Imagine Hemsworth running out in the cardinal and myrtle and playing on the wing.
A try in the corner by Thor would have made headlines around the world.
SATURDAY
RICKY Stuart is not renowned for his diplomacy, but today he bites down on his tongue so hard blood is dripping from his chin after a pass that appears suspiciously forward costs the Faiders a win against the Warriors.
"I've got $20,000 hanging over my head," Sticky explains at the post-match media conference.
"If I don't turn up here tonight I get fined ... I can't tell you the truth. I can't tell you the way that game panned out, because I'd get fined.
"So I'm not going to answer any questions. I've done my job, thanks."
Reading between the lines, Ricky is absolutely spewing. And apparently he's not the only one, as the above photo of Curtis Scott testifies.
SUNDAY
I CATCH a new segment on ABC radio's footy broadcast they call "Rugby League Alphabet", in which listeners phone in to nominate their favourite player beginning with a certain letter.
Today's letter is "c", and one reader chooses Ron Coote, on the basis that he has been immortalised in rhyming slang.
It's a fair point. I mean, how many players can lay claim to such an honour?
Tulsen Tollett, David Gower, Darren "Edgar" Britt and Stan Jurd are other members of rugby league's most exclusive club.
MONDAY
THE growing list of injured and concussed players raises the question of whether the NRL's new rule changes have made the game too fast and dangerous.
What a load of nonsense, I say. The real problem is that modern players are just too soft.
Can you imagine any of them kicking a goal from the sideline, broken arm wrapped in cardboard, as the Immortal Clive Churchill once did? Or playing out a grand final with a broken jaw, like John Sattler?
No chance.
Nowadays we have the likes of Luke Keary being carried from the field and rushed to hospital for a season-ending knee reconstruction.
Back in the days of Churchill and Sattler, there was no such thing as a knee reconstruction.
Blokes would rupture their ACL, and the trainer would arrive on the field with a bucket of water and a magic sponge.
A quick wipe of the magic sponge and the player would bounce back to his feet and play on.
On the rare occasions the magic sponge didn't do the trick, a mysterious can of icy spray would provide an instant cure.
And therein lies the real problem for the NRL.
Whatever happened to the magic sponge? Or the icy spray, for that matter?
These days clubs spend a small fortune on sports science, yet there are more players on the sidelines than ever. I say bring back the magic sponge and the icy spray - and smelling salts for anyone who gets knocked rotten - and the game will be better for it.
TUESDAY
PHOTOS emerge of Prime Minister Scotty from Marketing sharing post-match beers with Parramatta players, who have just beaten the team he allegedly supports, Cronulla.
"He's ours now @Cronulla_Sharks," the Eels declare on Twitter.
I can't imagine the Sharkies will have too many problems with that. They're probably sick of him hanging around in their dressing room, pestering them to join in the team song.
WEDNESDAY
BRADFORD hooker George Flanagan cops a hefty 10-match ban after being found guilty of attacking an opponent's testicles - for the second time in 18 months.
Flanagan was charged by the Rugby Football League's match review panel with a Grade F offence - the most serious grading available.
The 34-year-old was banned for eight matches and fined $450 for a similar incident in August 2019.
If it's any consolation, at least now Flanagan has made a name for himself ... albeit as as a serial squirrel gripper.