As days at the office go, Sunday was one of the toughest I've experienced in my career.
It was always going to be a tough, bruising affair against the Dragons. We knew they would come with plenty of intent with their attitude and with their defence. But 55 mins in and even after losing Ju [Mitchell Pearce] to that pec tear in the first half and Tex [Hoy] at halftime, I thought we were in charge of the game.
But when Killer [Kurt Mann] went down for the count and we'd lost almost all our spine, the final 20 minutes was always going to be an uphill struggle with blokes slotting in out of position and the Dragons camped down our end.
On top of that, I picked up a knee injury which I feared was pretty serious given the initial pain but managed to stay out there. In the end though, we just couldn't hang on.
Our bad luck with injuries just continues. No sooner do we get someone back, we lose another two or three and it was like a scene from M.A.S.H. in our dressingroom after the game with blokes wounded everywhere.
I know we have to be better, no matter what adversity gets tossed up at us, but it's hard not to feel like we are not getting much of a crack at the moment from the big man upstairs.
For me personally, the good news is after thinking I'd really damaged the same knee I had surgery on during the off-season, it has settled down and there's been improvement every day. It's still sore but by the weekend, I'll be sweet to go again.
What I need to be though is a whole lot better with my discipline against the Titans.
I let the boys down by letting my emotions get to me against the Dragons and straight afterwards in the shed, I apologised to them and the coaching staff.
I got baited with a headbutt in that scrum on their line early in the game and to give away a penalty there by reacting to it when we had the ball was unforgivable. They got me a good one but in the context, I should have just worn it.
That's a trait I have got out of my game as I've got older but I fell for it again and like I said, let everyone down.
All the boys have been feeling bad for Ju. Talk about a roller-coaster season with peaks and troughs. But he's already had his surgery and knowing him, he'll be busting his back-side to get back on the field as quick as possible.
As it stands, we've got Greeny [Blake Green] to run the show and K [Kalyn Ponga] back for the Titans clash on Saturday and despite being a bit battered, you won't be hearing any excuses from us.
We can't make this losing thing a weekly occurrence. We need a win and while the assignment on the Gold Coast won't be easy, we'll still field a really competitive bunch of players who'll be right up for the challenge.
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