Big Reg reveals Eels coach Brad Arthur is a such strict disciplinarian that he has insisted RCG drops his weight by one kilogram, from 116kg to 115.

"It's pretty much a poo," RCG explains.

Interesting logic. Maybe it's time for Mad Dog MacDougall to branch out from Man Shakes to Man Laxatives.

On the subject of poo, Manly reek of it during their 46-6 pizzling from the Panthers.

After four straight losses, the once-mighty Silvertails are stoney motherless and their season is rapidly disappearing down the S-bend.

Here's hoping they're not through the worst of it yet.

I NOTE with interest some quotes in today's papers from the Old Fox, on the eve of his team's clash with the Doggies.

"Whether you're playing top teams or teams that might be struggling a little bit, you've got to turn up and do the job," Benny tells the media. "Otherwise you put yourself under a fair bit of pressure."

Wow. What an insight. Has anyone ever better explained the science of rugby league in the space of two sentences?

The Bunnies proceed to win 38-0, raising the question of whether the Bulldogs turned up, and if they did, why they bothered. Trent Barrett's mangy mutts are now scoreless in three consecutive games.

Their past four hours of footy have literally been a pointless exercise.

Barrett concedes afterwards Canterbury's attack is "pedestrian", before adding: "It's not as easy to sit there and say go and change your style or do something different.

"If it was that easy everyone would be an NRL coach and you'd fix it. But this isn't the forum where I want to discuss it."

It's a fair point. Then again, what exactly is the correct forum to admit you're coaching a bunch of no-hopers?

FIRST Jason Taumalolo, then Viliame Kikau ... now Addin Fonua-Blake wants to play State of Origin.

This debate leaves many fans querying whether blow-ins will be able to uphold the "state versus state, mate versus mate" legacy that has been Origin's trademark since Artie Beetson famously landed one on Mick Cronin's chin all those years ago.

There is certainly no doubting Fonua-Blake's commitment.

He's so passionate about playing Origin he doesn't even care which team he plays for.

"I was born in Queensland but played my first footy [in NSW] so I'm not sure where my eligibility lies," big AFB explains. "But if that rule gets passed - they'd obviously have to select me first - but if I did make the team, I would love the opportunity to represent the state."

Whichever state that may be. Seems like Addin is in a state of confusion, but I reckon he's got Cane Toad stamped all over him.

HO hum, another NRL star in strife for allegedly assaulting two security guards outside notorious Cronulla night spot Northies.

How does this even rate a headline, I ask myself, but then it dawns on me that the alleged biffo merchant is female.

A Sydney Roosters NRLW player is named as the alleged offender, and a pub patron contacts the Daily Telegraph to say: "She was asked to leave and was escorted by security when she turned and the king hit the doorman. It was a real dog shot."

Hmm, not ideal, but looking on the bright side, it's proof that the greatest game of all has embraced the concept of equal opportunity.

At McDonald Jones Stadium, the Knights get knocked off by the Dragons after suffering more casualties than the Titanic.

Mitchell Pearce suffers a torn pectoral for the second time in his career. Both injuries have occurred when Newcastle were wearing their hi-vis kit. Maybe it's coincidence, or maybe those jerseys are cursed. Bad things seem to happen when the Knights are not wearing red and blue.

A SNIPPET in Buzz Rothfield's Daily Telegraph column catches my eye.

"Spotted: Old Rabbitohs super coach Wayne Bennett with his partner at the Royal Easter Show on Saturday."

I find myself imagining the Old Fox strolling through sideshow alley, fairy floss in one hand, dagwood dog in the other. I can just picture him going for a spin on the dodgems and the wild mouse, and grabbing a Bertie Beetle showbag for the train trip home.

Even in footy season, the show must go on.

IS there any code more susceptible to political correctness gone mad than rugby league?

That is my reaction to the brouhaha caused by Titans skipper Kevin Proctor apparently breaching bubonic-plague protocols after playing the pokies in a Sydney pub without wearing a mask.

What a sad state of affairs. Since the days of the one-armed bandit, rugby league has owed its existence to the humble poker machine.

Here's a bloke putting something back in, for the good of the game, and suddenly he's been issued a "please explain".

This is ludicrous. It's a well-known fact that KP is at his best after a few hours on Queen of the Nile. The more coin he loses, the better he plays.

RANDOM thought of the week: do NRL cheerleaders really need to wear COVID masks? It's a bit weird that they can't show off their beaming smiles. Oh well, at least their pom-poms are still on display.