All are about righting improper imbalances, and all are primarily about women being recognised as people, as the equals of the male half of the population, who for much of history have dominated the institutions of life, from the family through to government.

Each generation believes it has the settings right, but from where we sit in 2021 it is shocking to realise that marital rape in NSW was not criminalised until 1981 and that it took until 1994 for the final Australian jurisdiction to follow suit.

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Today, the majority belief holds that marriage - indeed, all adult relationships - should be based on on equality, respect and dignity - and not on a church-driven code that puts the man at the head of the table.

This prising of power out of male hands has been accompanied by a broader acceptance of a "rainbow" of relationships that leave the definition of family - although with some obvious limits - in the hands of its members.

Even so, "new" families can be as prone to domestic violence as the models they replaced.

Additionally, as reporter Helen Gregory recounts in her reports on the subject today, psychological abuse can be just as serious as its more obviously threatening physical counterpart.

Wallsend MP Sonia Hornery says anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, and she wants more services for men, saying there are "very few" at the moment.

She is correct - and this is not to diminish the effect on male victims - but the basic pattern of male violence against women remains the dominant one.

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare uses Australian Bureau of Statistics figures to say that one in six Australian women have experienced physical or sexual violence by a current or previous partner, while the the figure for men is one in 16.

For sexual violence, the figures are 18 per cent, or almost one in five, for women, and 4.7 per cent, or almost one in 20, for men.

It is only in emotional abuse - 23 per cent of women and 16 per cent of men - that the figures are comparable.

Violence is always wrong.

As to emotional abuse, there is a very simple test.

Care for your partner as you would have them care for you. Intimacy and vulnerability are closely intertwined.

Love is a gift to be given, not a possession for the taking.

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