The drama this week around Novak Djokovic was simple for one-eyed tennis fans who love Roger Federer - deport Djokovic.
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Not because his visa may have been out of order.
Or that he may be a bigger Covid threat to our nation than our government.
Or that he's simply a bit of a unit.
No, send him home so he can't win that elusive 21st major and eclipse Roger.
And while you're at it, send fellow 20-time Slam winner Rafa Nadal home too.
Decent as Rafa is, can you seriously be the greatest of all time the way he fidgets before serving? Particularly the underpants.
Djokovic would be a worry on many levels if allowed to play.
First of all, he'd probably win because he's pretty bloody good.
Second, nothing fuels him more than talk of history, destiny and immunity.
Third, revenge is a great motivator and his fans are very exuberant.
So thanks a lot Border Force.
Indeed, his mother said her son had been tortured while holed up in a Melbourne hotel awaiting the outcome of his Federal Court appeal this week.
Maybe try a decade up in Manus Island.
The logic of his legal tussle was certainly tortured.
We all have wants and needs and it sounded like the Victorian Government and Tennis Australia wanted and needed the world No.1 to play because they'd already organised the catering.
The Federal government wanted and needed everyone to believe rules are rules, particularly in an election year.
And looks like Border Force wanted and needed to trigger an international incident, so big tick there.
Joker wanted and needed everyone to believe that when he said "no" he hadn't travelled in the 14 days before arrival in Australia, having contracted Covid in Serbia just before Christmas, maybe he meant "yes" because social media seemed to confirm that, unless social media really is fake news.
Hard to know but possibly it was one of those complicated errors of judgement familiar to celebrities like Johnny Depp, Amber Heard, Pistol and Boo.
Either way Joker's dad heralded his son's hotel release, probably triggered by misinformation, as a win for free speech and the free world.
At the time of writing the ball was in Immigration Minister Alex Hawke's court and someone was going to get a serve.
Whatever the outcome, it's certainly got the public talking tennis.
Aussie hopes are high for Ash Barty in the women's.
The men don't seem to threaten much past the first week, as usual. Tomic think's he's got Covid. Kyrgios actually has.
For raging one-eyed Roger Federer fans it's simple - "stop talking - start deporting".
First Joker, then Rafa, then anyone else who can contend. Then maybe send Roger who is out injured this year, some Dencorub for his crook knee.
In that way we can keep his legacy alive for at least another grand slam.
