"The Jets have three players confirmed positive, and several more symptomatic, so tomorrow's game could be off.'' Check the date, it's not April 1, call the boss (who is 10 times more affected by this than me), and seek confirmation.

"No jokes Lowey," he says. "I'll keep you posted."

Moderate delight that I don't have to do a complete rewrite, mixed with anxiety about subject matter.

Firstly, clarification that the positive tests are for COVID, not cocaine, so senior management can relax.

But if I find out that the source of this outbreak is a mild-mannered music festival, I will be shaking my fist to the skies above.

The natives, journalists and columnists are getting very restless and need some entertainment.

And to be completely honest, the A-League feels like a very sporadic, occasional distraction at the moment, rather than a competition.

In days of old, before I was born even, the ruling class knew how to keep the masses happy.

The Romans would rely on the old Christians-versus-lions clashes to get the pulses racing, and though a few in town might make a song and dance about it in 2022, it served its purpose.

Sure, the contests could be a touch lopsided, but the reporters never had to worry about a late comeback causing a hasty rewrite before a looming deadline (pardon the terminology).

The scorelines became a bit predictable -nobody relishes 0-14 every week or fortnight - but concerns about respiratory conditions were less stark and all consuming.

Here I reckon was the origin of the derby. Gladiators from local towns providing more even competition for the crowds to savour, a bit like the early days of the A -League, when the Jets and the Mariners had the same budget as the big boys.

I'm sure competent historians could point out earlier examples, particularly my Greek friends, whose ancestors seemingly invented everything.

But I'm also recording that period as a starting point for the modern, controversial phenomenon we call VAR.

Today a bad decision can cost you three points. Back then it could be life changing!

Rugby league fans, this was "taking it upstairs" on steroids.

I have my tongue firmly in cheek, but was J. Caesar, or one of his ilk, the world's first VAR operator?

They may have lacked replays, and 83 camera angles to prove the on-field official correct, but at least they were reasonably swift with their calls and aware of the match feel and vibe.

The phone has just gone mad, and yes the Jets game is off, and I am jolted back to reality.

A month without football for Newcastle, and you'd imagine at least a week or two more coming up.

Last week I mentioned a possible hiatus, to preserve the sanctity of the competition, and that is looking more relevant than it was as little as six hours ago.

The number of postponements is starting to look almost untenable for those in charge of the competitions' fixture list. Where do we go from here?

There will be other derbies, and as Robert Dillon so succinctly pointed out in yesterday's Herald, the rivalry between the Jets and Mariners will be as keen and even as it has been since day dot.

For now, sit back, relax and try to find a winner, watch the cricket, or the EPL, or go on holidays to Queensland, where everyone in the world is now welcome!

Strange days indeed.