"If you refuse to get an outdoor dog because you can't be bothered walking it, it will have to be an indoor dog," came the declaration. "And if it's an indoor dog, it'll have to be a poodle because they don't lose hair, or smell."

It caught me off guard because last time I checked the new pet tape, it was "case closed". We didn't want a dog. Or a cat. Or any other animal that might fill the void of an empty nest. And we particularly didn't want a poodle because that'd be embarrassing. But watching shows about rescue dogs can trigger maternal instinct.

My argument was that dogs have lots of energy and require training, and feeding and caring etc. But the idea saying this was acceptance we could get a dog was a bit like me saying, "If I go to the pub, against your wishes, you'll have to pick me up."

To me a dog was just going to be another kitty litter tray I'd have to tend to for the term of its natural life. And possibly mine. Like what happened with the cats.

The first one we got for the kids when they were young was such a hit we doubled up on the fun. Turned out I doubled up on the daily sewerage outlet of the cats for the next 17 years. So much for teaching kids about animal care.

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I'll admit, I did fall in love with my cats and tears were shed with their demise. But none about cleaning up after walkies, which cats don't even do. They just strut in the general direction of the tray, feign the odd paw, and let rip, inaccurately.

One of the children to whom the cats were originally entrusted has since grown up and got a cat of her own recently. Make it two, because you need a litter these days to socialise diddums. Turned out she was shocked by the other type of litter cats produce. Because she'd never had to deal with it. So astonished in fact, she immediately bought an automatic kitty litter machine that to my amazement, actually works.

Shaped like a clothes drier, the cat jumps in, does the business and then the machine tumble-eradicates the rest. Hands free. Meanwhile texting a message to the owner about weight of animal in the machine (to identify which cat), and duration of visit (indicating type of business). I, like the cats, was awestruck by its magnificence. If only we'd had something like that back in my day.

Anyhow, moving on from kids and cats, the topic on the table was now suddenly dogs. And yes, I'd probably fall in love with a dog, but sometimes, if you want to keep your weekends free, you have to cut things off before they even exist, like in Terminator. Even though the new kitty litter machines are so amazing they will probably soon be able to do time travel too.

Moving forward I don't want to move backwards. Even though experience indicates objections can shift sideways if something is wanted bad enough. .

The fact the dog conversation keeps coming up suggests the delicate debate about love and commitment is back in play, with familiar overtones about who should come to heel. Time will tell if we go fetch.