LIVE: Puppetry of the Penis

Being nude around his siblings soon turned to nudie runs at the footy, a flash or two at the pub and soon he was being paid in beer to perform ‘‘genital origami’’ at parties. When he heard world-renowned Puppetry of the Penis performers on the radio, his fate was sealed and it wasn’t long before he joined the boys on stage.

Puppetry of the Penis  started in 1997 as a calendar of ‘‘penis installations’’ before being followed the next year by a performance by Simon Morley and David ‘‘Friendy’’ Friend at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Sell-out tours in Australia followed, before the show found an audience overseas, even conquering the West End and Broadway. Over the years the show has played in the UK, US, Germany, Ireland, New Zealand, Canada, Belgium, The Netherlands, Italy, Portugal, Iceland, Norway, Spain, France, Denmark, Argentina, Mexico, South Africa and Switzerland.

Nacho joined the Puppetry of the Penis cast seven years ago, admitting it was a ‘‘little nerve-racking’’ at first, but he was certainly no stranger to bearing his bits.

‘‘It’s been my thing, I guess. I grew up in a small house on a big property and my family had the one bathroom and I think it’s all down to this: I’d be in the shower, my sister would be on the toilet and my other sister would be doing her make-up; we had three sisters and a brother in a small bathroom and there was nudity around, we were blasé about it,’’ Nacho told LIVE.

A true-blue Aussie bloke, his first foray into ‘‘genital origami’’ was at a pub after a footy game.

‘‘This guy came up to me and said, ‘Hey mate, I hear you’ve got a big penis, so show us your penis’. I said, ‘Mate, I’m not going to show you my penis, but my penis is so big’ – that was when you could smoke inside – ‘that it can smoke a cigarette’.

‘‘I thought, ‘I can actually do that’, so I unzipped discretely at the bar and did it. I thought, ‘That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, I need to do a demo’, so I went up to a group of girls at a table right there. I said, ‘Ladies, ladies, how are you going?’ and I’ve looked down at the smoking penis and they’ve gone, ‘Wow, oh my God!’ So I thought, ‘This dick trick is unreal’, and just got right into it and learnt all the tricks in a few weeks. 

‘‘The dick trick was born.’’

Soon he was performing at hens’ nights and parties and he said the next ‘‘natural’’ step was to show off his unusual talent on stage.

‘‘I can’t really sing or dance or play an instrument, so to speak, but that was my thing,’’ Nacho said. 

That’s certainly been no barrier to mainstream success: ‘‘I have to pinch myself that I’m on the same billboards as these talented people and I just fling my penis in different directions and talk about it,’’ he laughed.

Even after seven years of performing his unique brand of theatre, Nacho’s parents are still yet to watch the show. But that doesn’t stop them from claiming bragging rights.

‘‘Mum and Dad are a little bit older and a little bit old school, so they still haven’t been to the show, it’s a little bit too much for them. But they totally get it,’’ he said. 

‘‘They do a lot of caravanning these days and they’re having that conversation of ‘What do your kids do?’ and they’re enjoying saying, ‘Well our son is in Puppetry of the Penis’. Most Aussies have heard of it, so they’re enjoying that.’’

Though it’s not your normal theatrical fare, there is more to Puppetry of the Penis than two nude dudes on stage.

‘‘We project onto a big screen and there’s a bit of CGI happening with a few of the tricks too, so it really puts the sea urchin at the bottom of the sea or the Eiffel Tour in Paris, so there’s a nice balance between that and the old school way,’’ Nacho said.

‘‘But the real endearing quality of the show is that it’s a couple of silly billies up on stage having fun. 

‘‘The underlying theme is, ‘What’s the big deal anyway?’ sort of thing, we like to keep it fast pace. We like to mix it up and keep the front rows on edge. It has that raw theatre energy vibe, like I might have one too many beers and go a bit crazy.’’

Nacho explained the Puppetry of the Penis  performers also try to keep the show topical, whether it’s having 2000 people perform the Harlem Shake, performing a heart-shaped trick for Valentine’s Day or even referencing a local landmark (Newcastle’s infamous phallic harbourside tower came up in conversation).

‘‘The show is ever evolving, you’re always trying to work out new tricks and topical stuff as well. We have creative freedom, so to speak, it’s a blank nude canvas,’’ he said. 

Nacho also encourages audience participation and expects that the 50per cent of the audience with the appropriate goods might even try to emulate his performance at home. For them, he has some advice: ‘‘It’s not that hard, just get out there and have a go and I always say it’s not the size of the burger, it’s the presentation. You tell a bit of story, introduce it, you’ll have your friends in tears.’’

Puppetry of the Penis performs at Wests New Lambton on September 5, Wests Nelson Bay Diggers on September 6, Cessnock Leagues Club on September 12, Belmont 16s on September 13, Doyalson RSL on September 19 and Muswellbrook RSL on September 20. Tickets at puppetryofthepenis.com and at the venues. The show is 18+.