The empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents often feel when their children leave home for the first time.

Usually to live on their own, or attend university, or avoid unpacking the dishwasher altogether.

Unlike the grief experienced when a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome may go unrecognised by the world, and some parents, because they dont experience any, save ongoing financial grief.

Theyve done their job, raised the kids, but now they discover they have to keep their job, otherwise the house of cards will come crashing down. Still!!

Its a bit of a shock.

But at least it will be a tidy house. No more whingeing about laundry. No more jockeying for the car. No more painful debates about whos turn it is,

So whats not to love about the empty nest?

Well, the kids, of course. Because theyre not around anymore.

A double-edged moment you look forward to at your peril.

As mentioned earlier, Ive had to unpack the dishwasher twice since the last of our brood, hit the rood.

On the flip side, weve only ran the dishwasher once, so were well ahead on water, which is a big plus during this drought . of kids. Ahhhh!

The rest of the time weve been curled up in a corner howling about our lonely, vacuous lives.

No, that would be giving the empty nest syndrome a bit too much cred.

Instead, as partners and parents, weve been examining the hollow shell that is our relationship, laid bare in the absence of distractions, wondering if perhaps not for the the children, wed have bothered.

Of course I digest, I mean digress, I mean jest, but the topic does seem to come up a bit.

And we laugh, oh how we laugh, kind of maniacally, in our big, empty, tidy house.

Therapists suggest this period should be used to develop a peer relationship with your adult children.

One not based around the notion of a peering like well continue to pay for everything.

Some empty nesters find that once they become accustomed to their new routine - one without all the running around they have more time and energy to ponder the slide into death.

And its true, it is a stage of exploration, to rediscover interests, friendships, the world around you, the location of your nearest bottleshop.

Adjustment is required, which is natural enough given youve had the company of kids for, in our case, over two decades.

Other people have them for less, because they had less; others more because, I dont know, theyre suckers for punishment.

But now theres a void.

And when I say a void, I dont mean avoid, because the alternative might be your kids not moving out at all.

And thats got its issues too.