Procrastination has a strange way of distorting reality.
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Like so many people I know, I was ambivalent about getting my first COVID jab. I would tell myself that I wasn't putting off the inevitable but, at the same time, I wasn't scrambling into a doctor's office.
There was something typical, even quintessential, about how Australian my attitude to vaccination was. I would get cracking when every one else did. When the pace of the race picked up then so would I.
It's not as though, as we all like to say around here, we bear the worsening burden of living in Sydney.
It wasn't until I stepped into, and then so quickly out of, that doctor's office that some simple facts dawned on me. If procrastination is the thief of time then it takes away just as much of your rationality as well.
What had taken me so long? Why was I late to this race?
Despite having never even been to this medical centre before, the entire vaccination exercise had taken 15 minutes. And what they say about the sting is absolutely true. There isn't one. My six-year-old pinches me harder than that and she isn't nearly as gentle and careful about it.
But there certainly was something careful about how my nurse sat me down and explained what was about to happen to me. Such is the breadth of our collective uncertainty about this vaccine that a 40-something bearded bloke is spoken to like it's his first day at school.
Was it welcome and soothing? Of course it was. Kind and thoughtful nurses like mine are keeping us alive right now. They are our floatation devices amid a noisy storm of angst and mistrust.
Do I need my fears allayed with straightforward facts? Yes please.
Would I like a lolly after my scary little pinch? Never thought you'd ask.
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This is not to undermine the sanctity of doubt. People lean on it. I always do. It's a device we not only imagine and invent for support. It is a healthy, necessary exercise for a critical mind.
It's probably the first thing that should be exercised before rushing into the end of a needle or any other form of medical treatment.
Of course there are risks. There are also opportunities.
Maybe the question is not whether we should have doubt about the COVID vaccine, but whether this, in particular, is the medical appointment we should delay and be doubtful about.
If the Mayfield waiting room I visited is any indication, then the answer is a resounding no.
I remember wondering on that Friday afternoon, as I sat down and waited for the nurse to call my name, whether all of the tradies sitting in there would rather be down at the local with their mates.
Funny how you so quickly join these dots of presumption.
Closer to the truth was that everybody in there looked tired and thirsty. Nobody wanted to be locked down and waiting for a shot. We all sat there blankly wearing our masks, watching Olympians on the TV wearing theirs.
The screens are wider over at the Stag & Hunter I thought. The shots feel better as well.
And when enough of us are jabbed we'll be allowed to taste them again.
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