The festive season is around the corner and it’s a time when families reflect on whether the more senior members of their family, and Prince Philip, will see another Christmas. I have the same concerns for KISS.

I just had a look at their schedule and, of course, it’s bigger than Gene Simmons’ ego. Longer than his tongue. More expansive than the band’s back catalogue. It’s massive.

The band gets on the bus at the end of January in Vancouver, they have breather from August to October and then don’t pull into the retirement terminal until after the December 3 show in New Zealand.

If all goes to plan, they’ll drop into Newcastle on November 23, 2019.

We hope.

It’s called the End of The Road Tour. I just hope it doesn’t end before it starts. We are all getting older. But these blokes haven’t exactly been sitting in an office for decades.

I remember when the KISS Army formed. I was in primary school and toyed briefly with using liquid paper to write “KISS 4 Eva” on my Globite port. A few decades later and I’m struggling with shavasana (corpse pose) at yoga. So I have no idea how these blokes, who are closing in on 70, are still in the New York groove after decades of breathing fire, indulging in assorted stimulants, juggling groupies and carrying more than their body weight in wigs and costumes.

It’s also a miracle that they haven’t been taken out by the amount of chemicals that have seeped into their bloodstream from wearing more pancake than Barbara Cartland.

That said, I still think KISS would be a far more reliable option than the fractious Fleetwood Mac, and I would never buy a ticket to Morrissey, even though old misery guts did surprise Novocastrians when he honoured a promise to show up for a concert in Newcastle a few years ago.

A more solid choice would be Keith Richards.

Even though Supercars might only just break even when it pays his bar tab, at least we know he’ll be alive and kicking for at least another 600 years.

deborah.richards@fairfaxmedia.com.au