What does the dirty 30s mean to Hunter residents in 2018?

It’s when your carefree 20s can be replaced by mortgage stress, family responsibilities and those first wrinkles or grey hair may start appearing.

It’s when a night of clubbing is often far less enticing than a Netflix binge and eight hours sleep or when your joints and muscles don’t bounce back from sport with the same vigour.

But has the experience of being 30 changed in our modern world? 

The median age of first-time mothers in Australia is 31, up from 25 four decades ago. While the median age of first-home buyers in Australia is 32.

That often leaves our 20s open for greater global travel, tertiary study and and self-discovery than previous generations.

Newcastle clinical and forensic psychologist and Weekender columnist Tarnya Davis says modern 30-year-olds enjoy greater freedom than their parents.

“At the same thing as housing affordability puts buying a house at 18 or 22 out of reach for most people, and even probably many 30-year-olds, it means that the generation are thinking if I’m not going to tie myself down to one career or be joining the real estate market, then what am I going to do?” Davis says.

“They have higher expectations of finding joy and pleasure in their life perhaps than that same generation years ago.”

While some people may argue that greater freedom and flexibility in their careers, travel, relationships and finances has made modern 30-year-olds more immature, Davis argues the opposite.

“If you talking about maturity in managing relationships and finding your way around the world and being brave enough to change your careers, maybe this generation have more of that [maturity], because they’re more adaptable,” she says.

“But correspondingly they have less responsibility because they’re choosing different ways to live their life.”

To discover what modern 30-year-olds are thinking we surveyed 30 Hunter residents.

How do they feel about the birthday? What did they imagine they would achieve by that age? Do they think differently from when they were 20 or 25? What’s the most significant thing to have happened in their lives? 

Joel Ford, a 30-year-old from Waratah West was a realist about reaching his third decade. “I didn’t mind turning 30. It was better than the alternative.”  

The milestone has also helped the sales manager to see the world in a new way. “The more life experience you get, you start to see things differently. Maybe I’m just becoming an old cynic!”

Stephanie Jordan’s 20s were a period of instability and growth and the 29-year-old is focused on a bright future.

“My 20s featured a break-up and a huge career change, but I feel it taught me so much,” Jordan says. “I look forward to growing in my job and hopefully find an adventure buddy while I am at it.”

That career shift involved leaving a high-paying mining construction job to follow her passion in real estate. “[It was] the hardest, but best and most significant thing to happen to me so far.”

For Emma Levine hitting 30 clicked her biological clock. “It's made me start thinking about a family. I'm in no rush, but that thought is now there. It made me reflect on my parents lives and what they did in their 20s, pre-kids and what they're doing now.”

The Hill resident also says it’s brought greater maturity and healthier emotional connections with her loved ones.

“I'm much calmer, I listen more than I talk,” Levine says. “I know that I don't know everything. I have a better relationship with my parents.”

Mother-of-three Brooke Sutherland ticked off many of her goals in her 20s, having three children and buying a house at West Wallsend. Next May she and her fiance will get married and she hopes to buy a property.

When asked what’s the most significant thing to happen in her life, Sutherland says, “Being a mother to my three girls. It’s the hardest job I've ever had, but still the most rewarding.”  

“I wanted to own a house by now and be a bit more settled, but I haven't achieved that. But I did achieve having kids and an OK job,” says the 30-year-old Edgeworth OTR tyre fitter.

One goal Daniel Douglas has reached, however, is a sense of maturity.

“Twenty was a party stage and nothing outside of that was an interest,” he says. “Then 25 I changed massively and even more at 30. Having kids changes everything.”

For Jewells teacher Lanelle Lee Chin, turning 30 marked a shift in philosophy by taking a more holistic approach to life.

“I'm less materialistic and far more conscientious of all our environmental and climate concerns,” she says. “I also appreciate a good food garden, cooking meals at home. I'm less fixated on status, ‘likes’ and attention, and more fixated on meaningful experiences and moments.”

Limiting debt, volunteering more and expanding her kennel of dogs are Lee Chin’s goals for her 30s.

Shivangi Maheshwari says she felt the pressure of internal and external expectations before she turned 30.

“Turning 30 comes with expectations that you should have achieved something in your life - stable job, getting married, having kids - all the milestones you set for yourself when you had no clue what you wanted to do with your life,” the Tanzanian-born Novocastrian says.

 “But the truth is, you turn 30 and you’ve still got no clue, and that feels shit.”

The former financial auditor has since started her own social enterprise to help African artisans promote their art. For Maheshwari, her 30s are about living life. 

“[I want] to stop having expectations for my life,” she says. “I just want to do what I enjoy and live in the moment.”

The 29-year-old marketing officer from Wallsend is feeling accomplished as she approaches her birthday next month with a holiday with her boyfriend Al in India and China.

“I thought I would have finished uni, met the love of my life, bought a house and be working in a job I love,” Adamczyk says of her life goals for 30. “I'm happy to say I have achieved all of these goals.”

Adamczyk says her late 20s have also been a period of emotional heartbreak after both her grandfathers died last year within four months of each other. 

“Having never lost someone close to me, and losing two influential figures in my life at once, this had a huge impact on me and I now value family more than ever,” she says.

Like many 30-year-olds, breaking into Newcastle’s booming housing market has been a chief concern for Boolaroo digital marketing specialist Shaun Stoneman.

“The main thing I wanted to have done by 30 was to have my own house, unfortunately, I didn't quite hit that mark but I have started the groundwork, so it's now a goal for 31,” he says.

Stoneman marked his birthday with some new tattoos and low-key celebrations with friends.

“I do feel a bit like it’s a ‘proper adult age’ and I should probably be a proper adult by then,” says 29-year-old Jessica Woods of Valentine. “But, I’ve felt that about most of the ages in my late 20s, so I’m starting to think I might never feel like an adult.”

Woods is married and owns a house and she hopes to become a mother in her 30s. “When I knew I’d found my partner it cemented with me what I wanted in life and the trajectory I could see my life taking,” she says.

Adamstown employment consultant Roxann Hill says it’s all about embracing your 30s. 

“[It’s a] scary time reaching that age and feeling as though you are getting old, and having not achieved as much as you wanted, especially if you end up comparing yourself to others and their achievements,” the 31-year-old says. 

“I did feel that it was a new chapter in my life and there was going to be new and exciting things to experience.”

Hill says she had a bucket list of 86 goals before she turned 30, of which she achieved 35. She’s still happily ticking them off.

For 30-year-old travel agent Alyce Milns, 27 was always her number. “The goal was to get married at 27, then a house, then kids. I'm now 30, single, no home of my own and no kids.”

But The Junction resident has since reassessed having spent two years living overseas in Canada.

“I've definitely grown as a person as I have had many obstacles in my 20s,” she says. “I've become very independent and worry less.”

Speers Point real estate agent Alex Whitall marked her 30th birthday in August in the most memorable of fashions – she got married.

“I did this for many reasons but one of the main reasons was to take the attention away from me turning 30,” she says.

The admitted one-time dreamer has already ticked off an extensive bucket list, by paying off her first home and starting a family.

Abermain mechanical supervisor Nathan Bailey joined the 30 club on Wednesday and is planning to celebrate his childhood youth with a superhero dress-up party next week.

“[I’m] nervous, yes, it is a big deal for me,” the father-of-three says. “I guess it is good to get to that age so the people around me don’t see me as the boy anymore.”

Maryland intensive care paramedic Jessica Williams became a new mother six weeks ago.

“I expect my 30s to be my most challenging decade; trying to manage being the primary breadwinner, a new mother to a beautiful baby girl, an extremely difficult career (mentally, physically and emotionally), as well as a social life and other commitments,” she says.

In the lead up to turning 30, licensed conveyancer Di Cooke wrote herself off as “officially old.”

“However, after a few one-breath-short-of-hyperventilating episodes, I really started to view turning 30 as entering a new chapter; one where I got to reap the benefits of my hard work, one where I could finally be comfortable and confident in who I am, and one where opportunities would arise and doors open into exciting new ventures.”

Cooke expects her 30s to be “simple” years where everything falls into place.

Cardiff finance accountant Sharni Rowe, 30, is expecting her 30s to be a graft as she and her partner Michael prepare to welcome their third child in a matter of weeks as they juggle mortgage repayments. 

“It won’t be the glamorous phase of adulthood, maybe that comes with the 40s?,” Rowe says. “It will be budgeting, lots of bills to pay, and both needing to work while trying to run a household and raise children. 

“I've lowered my expectations of my 30s. If you're looking at the cup as half full, maybe you need to pour into a smaller glass.”

“I am approaching 30 and to be honest I was like, ‘Damn I’m getting old. What is this life, it seems to be flying by’,” says Beresfield service advisor Ashleigh Ball.

Ball says a house, marriage and children are all dreams for her 30s.

Eleebana child care educator Kirstie de Vries embraced turning 30 as an age when people “treat you with more respect.” De Vries says her 20s took several wrong turns, but at 31 she’s happier than she’s ever been.

“When I was growing up I thought 30 was old and I would have my life together – house, kids, married,” she says. “Instead life doesn’t always go to plan, instead I was divorced with a three-year-old at 25 living with my mum. Now at 31 I’m married again to an amazing man [and] we have two children.”

KO-FM promotions manager Danielle Richards is preparing to embrace turning 30 on October 16 with optimism. At 26 she was diagnosed with breast cancer, but she successfully beat the disease and later this month Richards will marry her fiance, who popped the question while dining at Mick Fleetwood’s restaurant in Maui.

“I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 26,” Richards says. “I was a baby who was given one choice to fight. I didn’t know how and I didn’t want to. I did though.”

Cameron Park teacher Alexandra Redman came to the realisation several years ago the ageing clock would continue to tick regardless, so there was no point stressing.

“The past few years I've focused less on the time that's passing and sticking to the plan, and put my energy into just being happy,” says Redman, who turns 30 on October 16.

“I am uneasy about turning 30, so many say it all goes down hill. But I'll look for the silver lining always. Thirty is important, but so is every year of your life.”

The Greta 30-year-old says there’s is a lot of pressure and expectation attached to 30. She was expected to have finished her university degree, to have finishing travelling and to have discovered her forever job.

“I felt a lot of pressure when turning 30,” she says. “It’s like you are expected to have all of your life aspects sorted.”

Kurri Kurri’s Samantha King says “as a type 1 diabetic every birthday is special” and 30 was like any other. However, the 31-year-old admits the milestone has forced a change in her mindset.   

“In my 30s I want to say 'no' more,” King says. “To relax and take in the scenery. Take each day as it comes and cherish the smaller things. The ultimate goal is to get out of the renting game.”

King says she’s also noticed changes to how she interacts with her peers.

“I have a number of younger friends and sometimes they make me realise that I think a lot differently now as opposed to my early 20s,” she says. “I’m not so radical or jumping into to scenarios quickly.”

“I used to be that 18-year-old at the pub looking at the 30-year-olds laughing saying. ‘Look at those old farts,’ says East Maitland disability group home manager Brianna Stevens. “Now I am the old fart.”

Stevens turns 30 in January and the birthday has her contemplating her life.

“At 25 I was worried about turning half way to 50,” she says. “I believed I was still young, had plenty of time to settle down and now that 30 is only a few months away I have come to realise I don’t have plenty of time. My time is now.”

Former Macquarie Scorpions rugby league winger Ryan Houston is enthusiastic about life as he prepares to turn 30.

“I feel amazing, I feel physically mentally and emotionally in the best shape of my life,” the real estate agent says. “Thirty does not worry me at all, I’m loving every minute.”

Houston says that positive outlook is a result of his maturity towards healthy eating and exercise.

“At 20 to 25 I was going out a lot, which is fine, however it’s not very productive if you are wanting to achieve big hairy audacious goals.”

For Beresfield receptionist Sarah Izzard her impending 30th birthday has “dug up a lot of what ifs.”

“I thought I would of had a more challenging and rewarding career by now,” she says. “I thought I would of had a small family, but I was told recently IVF is our only option. When you enter your 30s it feels like there is this timer on your head and you can't turn it off.”

You get the sense Carrington bartender Marcus Armstrong isn’t easily phased by anything. So it’s no surprise he’s chilled about turning 30.

“I know people that have flipped their shit and had minor crises after turning it, but I’m so jacked to be inside it,” Armstrong says. “Then again I don’t quite look my age and or subscribe to the usual characteristics of someone that age. I don’t believe it should be a race to grow up.”

Armstrong plans to celebrate this birthday cruising over Lovedale in a hot air balloon before sailing Lake Macquarie. 

Caitlyn Rush has been looking forward to turning 30 since her 21st birthday. 

While she hasn’t ticked off all of her bucket list she’s embracing the milestone with enthusiasm and humour by holding a joint-dress up birthday party with her husband in three weeks.

“I thought I would own a home - nope (how great is avocado toast?),” she says. “I thought I would have kids - not super interested. 

“I thought I would be married - and I am. I also thought I would be rich, and or famous, but sadly I am not. So running at about a 50 per cent rate.”

Tim Walkling remembers his 30th birthday fondly. “I had a surprise party with the best cake I have ever seen in my life - I’m a Star Wars nerd and it was a giant R2-D2.”

The Nelson Bay boy says becoming a father has easily been the most significant moment of his 31 years.

“You think you know how you’re going to be as a parent, you think you’re going to teach your kids; the truth is they end up teaching you more than you ever teach them.”

It’s been a massive year for Wallalong occupational therapist Tobin Bush. Last Sunday he celebrated turning 30 with a low-key barbecue and he recently married his wife Sarah.

“I still feel like it was last year I turned 21, and I am experiencing a few more aches and pains than previous years,” Bush says.