The mother of all floods is surely brewing.

We wanted an insight into when the rains would come. We could have called a meteorologist, but that'd be a bit ho-hum.

Bob "Minmi Magster" Skelton, who's lived through more Christmases than most, has street knowledge on the subject. Street knowledge is probably a bit urban, though. Words of wisdom is a better way of putting it.

Topics: "When you have a big drought, does a big flood usually follow?"

Magster: "It usually works that way. It's either one or the bloody other with old Hughie [the weather god]."

The Magster, a well known Hunter bush poet, reckons it's well past time for his rain poem to come out.

The poem - which is kind of similar to a rain dance - has been known to get through to old Hughie.

Remember when the Pasha Bulker ran aground? Yep, that followed a recitation of the Magster's rain poem.

So here it is. We sure hope it works.

Listen Old Hughie as I make this plea

Send down some rain on our drought-stricken country

Please make the rain fall steadily down

To quench the thirsty land around

Fill the dams rivers and creeks

Send her down Hughie and send us heaps.

It's been so long since we had rain

Things are gettin' mighty grim

We've got frogs down here on the age pension

That ain't learnt to croak or swim.

So come on old Hughie lift ya' game

Get off ya posterior and send some rain

And if ya do I promise you, I won't bother you again.

So rain rain fall on down

Quench the thirsty land around

Fill the dams, the rivers and creeks

Send her down Hughie, send us heaps.

By the way, we did check out the Bureau of Meteorology's outlook.

It stated: "January to March 2020 sees a reduction in the likelihood of drier conditions, with most of the country having roughly equal chances of a wetter or drier than average three months".

Sounds like there's a dash of hope in that. Come on Hughie, work your magic. But spare us another Pasha storm, hey.

Have your kids or better half been bugging you to put up Christmas lights to keep up with the Joneses?

Or are you just feeling like a bit of a grinch because the next-door neighbour has a magnificent display?

We have a solution. Put up some "ditto" lights.

Question: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

Answer: It's Christmas, Eve.

Question: What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve?

Answer: Halo there.