Russell Brand wants to talk to you about recovery. Yep, pretty much all of you. But if not all of you, at least some of you.
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The British comedian, YouTuber, podcaster, actor and articulate orator will perform his sold-out show, Recovery Live, at Civic Theatre in Newcastle on Monday night.
The show is described as a "funny and profane exploration into personal development and wellness from a comedian who has dedicated himself to spirituality to avoid self-destruction".
Brand is a big believer in the so-called 12-step program. His show will introduce the audience to this system, which Brand says "saved his life, continues to save his sanity and will work for anyone who is willing to commit to it".
As there was little to no chance of an interview with Brand, here's an extract from his book Recovery: Freedom from your Addictions: "You know me, right? You know I hate systems, especially 'The System', a bogus set of instructions for us, the people, to follow, while the truly free wallow in privilege. So imagine my initial resistance to this system, the 12 Steps, 'Don't tell me what to do, I'm an individual, I'm a maverick, I'm a hustler, I'm a poet, wandering through the wind-lashed wilderness screaming my song into the po-faced and judgmental world'.
"Especially, as in its original form, the 12 Steps says the word God as freely and as frequently as an ecclesiastical Tourette's sufferer. I sat in chilly rooms in the British countryside all chastened and desperate, looking at these bleak edicts on the wall, thinking, 'maybe for you, but not for me'. Curiously, later examination of these principles revealed that self-centred, egotistical thinking is the defining attribute of the addictive condition. Self-centredness is a tricky thing; it encompasses more than just vanity. It's not just Fonzie, looking at himself in self-satisfied wonder and flexing his little tush, no. Here is a more opaque example of self-centredness. If your partner is a bit wayward, you know selfish or difficult and you cast yourself as the downtrodden carer, pacing behind them going, 'I don't know what they'd do without me', that is another form of self-centredness.
"Flick on a TV, glance at your feed, it's all about me, me, me, the perfect product, holiday, hair tonic, telephone provider for my unique self. Well that's just fine and dandy, but I don't really know what 'me' is or what 'me' wants and now I'm beginning to question if thinking about 'me' all day is doing 'me' any good. The first time I saw the Steps, I thought, 'Hmm, a bit religious, a bit pious, a bit ambitious'. There was the 'Christiany feel'. Look at the third step, 'turn our will and our lives over to the care of God' - steady on old boy, that just sounds like a cosy version of ISIS. But now I know that you could be a devout Muslim with a sugar problem, an atheist Jew who watches too much porn, a Hindu who can't stay faithful, or a humanist who shops more than they can afford to and this program will effortlessly form around your flaws and attributes, placing you on the path you were always intended to walk."
A-ha!
Now a word on the pop band A-ha, which will perform in the Hunter Valley vineyards on Saturday night. The band's music video for the track Take On Me was among the most popular music videos from the 1980s. On February 17 this year, the music video reached 1 billion views on YouTube. At the time, only four songs from the 20th century had reached that number of views - Guns N' Roses' November Rain and Sweet Child O' Mine, Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit and Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.