In today's world of constantly curated images of perfection, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to an idealised standard.
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Parenting is an excellent example. The journey is filled with joy and love, but also a fair share of challenges.
Amid the highs and lows, many parents find themselves grappling with guilt. Whether it's feeling like you're not doing enough, comparing yourself to others or striving for an unattainable standard of perfection, parental guilt can weigh heavily on our shoulders.
One antidote to parental guilt is self-compassion - the practice of treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and acceptance, especially in moments of difficulty or failure.
Research supports the power of self-compassion in parenting with those who extend kindness to themselves in times of struggle as having healthier relationships with their children.
A study by Kristen Neff (a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research) revealed that self-compassionate parents exhibited lower levels of stress and anxiety, which positively influenced their parenting behaviours. They were more likely to respond to their children's needs with warmth, empathy and sensitivity, fostering secure attachments and emotional wellbeing in their children.
When feeling overwhelmed, we can practice self-compassion through mindful awareness; recognising that difficult emotions are a normal part of parenting and acknowledging and accepting these feelings without judgement.
We can also replace self-critical thoughts with a kind and compassionate inner voice that perfection is beyond reach, and recognise that even our small victories as parents matter.
Tarnya Davis is a clinical and forensic psychologist and principal of NewPsych Psychologists newpsych.com.au
