It weighs a kilogram, this thing.
This massive lemon was grown in the Telarah backyard of Doug Aurisch.
Doug gave it to Dianne Whittle, who he knows through Telarah Bowling Club.
Dianne, you see, is known for her lemon butter.
"Half of Telarah likes my lemon butter. He knows I make that," Dianne said.
Asked what she thought when she saw the humongous lemon, she said: "I thought it was a grapefruit. I've never seen a lemon so big. There probably has been, but I've never seen one".
The mega lemon was among a number of big ones that Doug grew.
"Normally a big lemon doesn't have much juice, but these have masses of juice in them," Dianne said.
"I've been getting lemons off him for a couple of months and evidently he still has lemons.
"I thought he must have had several trees, but it's only one tree. It's a very productive year as far as lemons go."
Doug said it was the biggest lemon he'd grown.
"I have had big ones before," he said.
Asked for the secret of growing big lemons, Doug said: "I don't know, I just planted a lemon tree".
"I've got it well drained and use plenty of fertiliser," he said.
The tree has been in his yard for about eight years. He said it always produced good fruit.
Dianne said the lemon butter was like jam, but with eggs and butter in it.
"It lasts in the refrigerator for six to eight weeks. You can have it on toast and put it in cakes. It's lovely on waffles with ice cream."
Asked if he was looking forward to some of Dianne's lemon butter, Doug said: "Always".
World Record Lemon
The Guinness World Records website states that the heaviest lemon weighed 5.3 kilograms. It was grown on a farm in Israel and weighed on January 8, 2003.
If Doug keeps tending to his tree, we reckon he could break that record.
You Can Quote Me On That
Topics awarded Port Stephens MP Kate Washington the quote of the week in reference to National Party MPs who "go red and explode" when their "anti-science rhetoric" is pointed out to them.
Mount Hutton's John Ure reckons her quote was topped by the "unnamed senior National" in a report in the SMH.
The story was headlined "Barilaro talks tough as acrimony lingers".
Here's the unnamed quote: "The Nats don't roll leaders. When Mr Barilaro replaced Troy Grant as Nationals leader, it was done after a 'gentleman's agreement' which saw Mr Grant told he had lost support of the party room".
"It would make Monty Python proud, wouldn't it?" John quipped.
Meanwhile, a mate of John's sent him some famous quotes.
This one is by Abraham Lincoln: "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves".
And this one from Socrates, almost 2500 years ago: "When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the losers".
"I wonder if Donald Trump has heard of Socrates or Abraham Lincoln?" John said.
A friend lost his job at the lemon factory. He couldn't concentrate.