Seven Days in League: Junior footy no place for silly sausages

That's the question I find myself pondering as rugba league's week of weeks kicks off with the women's State of Origin clash at Lang Park.

Down south in Mexico, a story has broken that confirms everything I already suspected about a rival code.

According to reports, an animal-rights activist in Melbourne has emailed her son's aerial ping pong club to ask if they can swap real snags for vegan bangers (ie made of garden compost) on the game-day BBQ.

How embarrassing. It will be a sad day indeed if such un-Australian nonsense ever casts a cloud over the greatest game of all.

REPORTS that Souths superstar Latrell Mitchell has fronted Foxtel's voice of wisdom, Braith Anasta, in Surry Hills restaurant Chin Chin catch my attention.

Apparently Trell is none too impressed with some of the commentary Anasta has been tossing up, which has perhaps implied that the Bunnies are going like busteds.

It sounds like quite a heated argument, but fortunately for Braith's sake, it didn't escalate into anything physical.

Last time he got into a stink with a Rabbitoh, back in his playing days, Anasta came off second-best after wearing a David Fa'alogo king hit flush on his chin chin.

Meanwhile, the Raiders pay tribute to their 1994 premiership team with a reunion before their clash with the Bulldogs.

I spent a few years (seemed like a life sentence) down in the national capital and got to know this group of players pretty well.

I'm not sure what's happened in the interim, but suddenly they all look like old men.

I guess they just haven't aged as gracefully as some of us.

POOR old Matthew Lodge.

Recently returned from a knee reconstruction, the big prop is heading home from the Banana Republic with a ruptured biceps after Manly's loss to the Broncos last night.

I'm assuming that will be another season written off, but you never know with the wonders of modern science.

I mean, the miraculous return of "hair" on top of Lodgey's once-barren melon proves that anything is possible.

THE Panthers run out against the Warriors minus centre Taylan May, who has been stood down after being arrested and charged with allegedly assaulting his wife.

Police are alleging that May punched his wife in the face and leg, and he will face court on May 28.

Without wanting to sound judgemental, it was only a few weeks ago that May had his surname tattooed across his throat in 10-centimetre letters.

I'd be intrigued to know if there is any data that documents how many blokes with neck tattoos end up in jail?

THE dust is starting to settle after Magic Round but Parramatta have one last trick up their sleeve. Wiithout so much as an "abacadabra" or a "hey presto", Eels officials make coach Brad Arthur disappear into thin air.

THE search to replace Arthur kicks off in earnest after Eels management reveal that the Old Fox has given them the Basil Brush, having agreed to re-join the Bunnies.

Among the long list of candidates, I am pleased to see ex-Wallabies coach Michael Cheika has attracted plenty of support on a Daily Telegraph poll.

If Cheika gets the gig, he'll be the first code-crossing coach since Alan Jones' memorable stint at Balmain back in the early '90s.

The "Parrot" was hardly a raging success in terms of results, but at least he was a left-field innovator, reportedly introducing, and overseeing, compulsory naked team massages on the day after every game.

Thirty-odd years down the track, maybe Cheika can instil some more of that rah-rah culture into the 13-man game?

NRL head of elite competitions Graham Annesley reveals some remarkable statistics in the wake of Magic Round.

Roughly 150,000 punters attended the three-day carnival, during which they consumed 7500 pies, 16,000 hot dogs, 10,000 hamburgers, 30,000 cartons of hot chips, 60,000 bottles of water and soft drink, and over a ton of seafood. For some reason, he doesn't mention how many beers have been consumed, but presumably it can only be measured in Olympic-sized swimming pools.

And not a single vegan sausage to be seen.