Imagine it's been a really great day. As you walk to the bus on your journey home, you lock eyes with an acquaintance and smile. They stare right through you and walk on past. Imagine the same scenario, but this time it's been a difficult day. Things haven't gone so well, and as you walk to the bus, you lock eyes with an acquaintance, and smile. They stare right through you and walk on past. Most probably with the first scenario, your interpretation is something along the lines that have you still feeling OK about yourself and the situation by not taking it personally, but the second scenario usually leads to the more painful interpretation and its impact upon you.
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The facts are the same in each case: ignored by an acquaintance, but when you take it personally, everything feels worse. The thing is, most of what bumps into us in life is more likely than not not about us, but about something else that has happened or is happening for that person. Our interpretation can also be more about what is happening for us than it is about the situation as well.
If a friend is unexpectedly critical toward you, it can be painful and may need to be addressed, but it can also be an opportunity to reflect upon what's going on for that person in that moment, from right now to way back in their past.
Most of the time we actually over-estimate our own importance in other people's stories. When we understand this, it helps us to put the situation in context and manage our reactions and the next step.
