The grinding communication in the months leading up to this moment has been not just the debate between the two sides on a stage with a mute button. It's included the general discourse of what usually are polar opposite opinions put forward by people who are deeply connected to their world views.

In her TED talk, Julia Dhar, an Aussie who won the World Schools Debating Championship three times and who wrote The Decision Maker's Playbook: 12 Tactics for Thinking Clearly, Navigating Uncertainty and Making Smarter Choices, reflects upon the process of debate.

She points out that to formally debate we use a rebuttal to engage with a conflicting idea.

One person presents their idea and the other rebuts.

Thus, the process of persuasion becomes polarising. Dhar says that the most influential persuaders find common ground, shared reality and common values. From common space the conflict can be explored.

She suggests that to have healthy debate we need to separate ideas from the identity of the person.

The other crucial part of healthy debate is to be open to the idea that we could be wrong.

Humility makes us less defensive.

Neal Katyal, a supreme court litigator, says we are trained to think that the best way to win an argument is to speak with confidence. But he believes that confidence is the enemy of persuasion.

Persuasion is about empathy, interactions and relationships.