I'm giving Ocsober a go this year and just over a week into it, I'm concerned about Freedom Day.
By next Monday I will have gone 11 days of denial. Denial that I was doing it, and denial that I want to keep doing it.
It would be more days if you counted the lead-up to the decision to do Ocsober - in Sloptember.
It wasn't so much a decision, as a begrudging acknowledgement that some things are possible if you want to do them, and just to prove it, although you shouldn't have to, you will.
So ended the dialogue between me, myself and my lack of moral fortitude.
I figured if ever there was a good time to try Ocsober, it would be during a hard lockdown year, when you don't see anyone, and they don't see you.
Which seems rather pointless, socially speaking, wouldn't you say?
And heads up here - this self-defeating line of reason can totally compromise an Ocsober mission.
Courage of conviction is what's required, but not Dutch courage. Discipline, and in the absence of that, distractions.
The goal is to prove you can do it. To your self, to your critics, and to your liver. I mean to the social media algorithms that bombard you with messages about new beverages to try. And old ones you've already given a go. And how convenient click and collect is.
Now I'm concerned that with Freedom Day may come the corrosive influence of interacting with others.
So often a gateway to enjoyment. So not permitted under Stay At Home orders.
The worry is the old iron will might oxidise.
"Oxidisation" being a concept usually associated with what you're drinking rather than any personal character flaw you might have taken to blaming on others.
But rust never sleeps, and neither have I worrying about peer pressure which has been the least likely threat to my resolve really.
Because I've never been more on my own. Even though I did ask if anyone wanted to join me in Ocsober, and to which everyone said - are you crazy, the finals are on.
Meanwhile, in the absence of distractions, I've taken up trying not to pay attention to gambling ads.
Because it's habits we're talking about with Ocsober, and how they should be broken every so often. Like your spirit.
Just kidding, but yes, there have been times that I have questioned the merits of Ocsober.
Dinner, grand final/s, sunset, breakfast.
Just kidding about breakfast.
The reflex to reach for something bubbly - not necessarily my personality - has been strong. Something cheeky or full-bodied - to go with the fish or the beef or whatever excuse I'm having tonight.
But there'll be no excuses now until November, once I navigate Freedom Day.
Suffice to say, I'll be taking a sober approach, and watering down any suggestion that temperance is temporary - until I demonstrate otherwise.