I can't decide under which category to file the unwanted details of the Berejiklian-Maguire relationship.

Did we really need to know about this? It's debatable.

The ICAC's grilling of the pair was more cringe-worthy than a First Dates episode.

Surely the commission could have put together a highlights package focusing on references to infrastructure, gun clubs, and large sums of taxpayers' money?

Beyond establishing that they were in a serious relationship, we didn't need to hear about Berejiklian's (or anyone else's) love circle.

It was pretty obvious that no one in NSW was more horrified than Berejiklian herself about being forced to disclose details about her former boyfriend and her former feelings for him.

I'd say Gladys was probably doing a good job of ghosting Dac before the ICAC got involved.

Like a dodgy pick-up line, the commission unleashed the ick.

We all know that, if not nipped in the bud, a pick-up line can be the start of an ick cycle. A bit of casual ick pick-up shtick seems innocent, but can quickly turn into a couple of dates, followed by a deeply unsatisfying relationship and inevitable bust-up.

I remember when a club or pub bar was the only place you'd hear something like "Do you wear those eyes out often?" or "Feel my shirt. Know what it's made of? Boyfriend material".

Well, direct message (DM) is the new bar.

This would be fine if what happened in DM stayed in DM. But, thanks to the human ego, these morsels find their way to the public arena.

It takes two, possibly more, to unleash a text scandal, so I hope there's a special place in hell for over-sharers. No doubt it would have a communal hot tub boiling away in a dark corner.

Sitting in hell's hot tub would be all those editorial managers who decided it was in the public's interest to read or hear famous types' saucy talk (gained by dubious means).

For example, no-one needed to hear how Prince Charles worked his charm on then-mistress Camilla. I won't repeat it here, but their taped conversation included a reference to a female sanitary product.

Then there's Shane Warne, whose texts are always a delight. They also serve as examples of how to convey ick and ewww at the same time.

I remember one of his many texting scandals in which he expressed a desire to "pour wine all over" a woman's body.

How he got the woman's number is another question.

I'd suggest that the type of ladies who are receptive to Warnie's advances would be naturals on the kiss-and-tell media circuit.

Not that our saucy spinner seems to care.

We were again treated to the seasoned wordsmith's work when his alleged racy messages to a former Big Brother contestant were aired last week.

To cut a short story shorter, the BB vixen had to block him.

If only we could do the same.

deborah.richards@newcastle herald.com.au

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