In the wake of last weekend's coronation I repaired a leaking toilet and found myself royally flushed.
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It nearly ended up cheaper than calling a plumber.
If you take out multiple trips to the hardware store and the spiritual and emotional cost that comes with navigating such learning curves.
You can't place a dollar value on that journey, but your hardware store and credit card can.
YOU can't because that might negate feelings of accomplishment.
Particularly once you claim the toilet's not leaking anymore.
Even though a pesky drop of water on one of the seals suggests there may be a ways to go.
Possibly back to the hardware store, or that plumber you were trying to avoid.
The drip wasn't the problem to start with.
The original problem was the leaky, hissing cistern that so reflected the drip's attitude to home repairs.
And if it sounds like the drip's becoming a mixed metaphor here, good.
DIY plumbing flows downhill when fools rush in where tradies fear to tread.
The leaky, hissing cistern was tolerated for some time, possibly decades, until one day, no more!!
It might of had something to do with the water bill.
Or maybe we got tired of turning the toilet on and off again.
Or no, that's right, I was on holidays.
Suddenly hissing and leaking were on a list of 'things to fix'.
Next to another list of 'things to put off a bit longer'.
Things got 'actionable' after watching a few YouTube vids on dunny dos and don'ts.
Leading to the classic ill-advised thought, 'How hard could it be?'
A "dunny don't" in terms of home handyman mindset, surely.
Famous last words, they say, but to be fair, it's not that hard once you know what you're doing.
Famous second last words.
What followed was your typical wrenching journey to despair.
I mean repair.
Not only of the toilet, but all things buggered up along the way.
Including my back because plumbing gets you in the most uncomfortable positions.
The trick with DIY toilet work I found, perhaps counter-intuitively, is to tighten up.
Everything!
Your wallet, your spine, your attitude to failure and every bolt and washer encountered.
As they say in the School of Fingers Crossed, screw it.
Super tight.
And then unscrew it and righty tighty/loosy goosy the correct way.
If you can remember what that is.
Build tension to palpable levels like you're the bomb disposal guy and your toilet is the Hurt Locker, and you've become one in terms of brittleness and fragility.
One ill-advised wrench and you may well blow the whole idea of saving money.
Or maybe the hissing and leaking stops, not only in your mind, but in the toilet too, and suddenly you are flushed.
Make that dual flushed. With success.
The fix is in good enough for the time being.
We'll deal with that drip later.
